I recently stumbled upon Facebook profiles of my old colleagues, and I was baffled to see how their lives currently look.
As I moved towards the more warm part of the Europe dozen years ago, I was curious how they managed to shape their lives.
It was easy to check because all of them happily share they personal information, photos and everything else to the public through Facebook. Well, some people just need to get that “5 likes” rush, right? 😉 But back to the topic. I am sad that I can’t just copy & paste their pictures because I could end this post just right then. When I was in my early 20s, I had three close colleagues, I wouldn’t call them “friends” by current standards. “Mates” is the closest word I can use instead.
One of them was listening to hip-hop and being deeply in love with a high-school girl back then. Let’s call him “Zorro“.
Second one was listening to metal and being in a LTR with a nice, short black haired girl. Let’s call him “Mauser“.
I don’t have time to write about the third one. 😉 So, as the first one left the girl he was with back then (that is just because he fall in love with a more beautiful one – the first one was pretty chubby but still fuckable- remember that we are talking about fresh 20yo) I tried to hook up with his ex which was only partially successful, probably due to me still being in that crappy beta-mindset at times. She told me that he was listening to hip-hop not because he liked the music, but just as it was popular back then and it was easier for him to be viewed as attractive. Well, ok. Whatever works, yeah? From one side this was certainly stupid – from the other there was still hope for this man. Yet, that other (more cute) girl dumped him, too. He allowed himself to be completely controlled by her. He even undermined friendships with his male friends in order to win her approval. Typical. Also, his father was dominated by his mother. I know this because I was visiting him many times back in the days. Arguments between his mother and father were common. She was screaming at his father why he didn’t do the cleaning properly even when I was visiting him. Oh, poor kid. All of them, actually. I left the country and wandered to the other part of Europe. Back then, Zorro was living with his parents without a girlfriend or anybody to sleep with. Rather normal situation for most of young people from where I came from.
Mauser was more of a man than Zorro. He went to the gym that was built in the basement by one of our common colleagues. He exercised with plenty of pictures of naked girls glued to the walls. He was partially a good material for being a bad-ass however he was too gentle, too standard-minded to break through.. a common mistake. In the time I was leaving the country he was sad due to his long term girlfriend leaving him. She was falling in love with some other guy. He was living with his parents, but at least he wasn’t faking anything as much as Zorro was.
That was 12 years ago. They are both 33 years old by now. Quick check on their FB wall left me shocked. First, let’s go with the Zorro. He still lives with his parents. He got himself (or rather she got herself a nice boy?) a girl wearing huge glasses, veeery average body. 5/10 at best. Their FB page is full of posts declaring their eternal love. With mandatory comments from both of their parents… posts of b-day gifts, ‘romantic dinners’, flowers, cinema trips and ‘I love you my cuddly-cuddle’ (or whatever words they use)… all sickening to the bone.
Mauser.. What happened to you, old’pal ? From doing a photo-shots in that basement gym full of dreams (pussy on the wall looks always promising!) to exactly what? Publishing pics of himself with his nice girlfriend instead (for a change a nice 7/10) in a setting “we are both holding hands and walking through the park”? And himself… well, there isn’t anything left from that old guy. He got himself a big belly (I guess from drinking severe amounts of beer in order to numb himself up as he can’t come up with a good reason why his current lifestyle doesn’t bring him happiness) ‘shouldn’t I be happy? Isn’t everybody living like me? What’s wrong!! Should I leave the country as Datson and live a nomadic life as he was? No, that’s not possible!!’ Of course, he still enjoys some pleasures. The main one is to publish beer reviews on his FB page. Just next to wishes of “them being happy and together – always” from his mum… really sad story. Other pictures show him and his girlfriend plus his mommy. Both girls are holding each of his hands. Like he was a small kid (maybe he still is?). He has his head shaved short, but his mouth is also short- of a smile. ‘Is that all there is to my manliness?’ …
His girl is wearing a pink blouse with Mickey Mouse on it – I bet he must call her “his little mouse”, no? And she reciprocates by kissing him on his cheek, like it was a promise of getting some pussy juice later on “but remember Mauser, that I don’t like when you kiss me too roughly…”
How a man can learn to be a man if he never stopped living with his parents? How a man can grow and to deal with life, learn how to be unbreakable if he can’t get rid of influences from his family / girlfriend / people around telling him what to do / social conventions and beta mindset that attacks him from everywhere?
Yes, when they were drinking beer on a bench next to their homes, I was hitchhiking through my country. I was able to reach a community of EDM parties in which I was already a strong participator. I was never like them. I must admit, I pity them.
To learn how to become a man you need to break through whatever life throws at you. And for that you need the courage.
I was brave. I left my country and family when I was 21yo, going for the unknown. To look for a better job, better life and better me. I never looked back.
I was never complacent with social norms and designated roles. I did not knew that back then, but I was brave. And I still am. My way is a way of bushido. the Warrior’s way. And I am fighting only for myself.
I am a survivor.