It is not about women.
Several years ago I struggled to see what was missing from my life. I achieved success, experienced how it is to live easy life on a good salary, had several nice hook-ups.. I still could not saw that what will bring me happiness in the future did not mean more money, or success, or women specifically… but the courage to live my own truth, to go deep within myself, find the answers, reveal what’s real and important to me- and to boldly go out and live it for myself, no matter what was the cost, even if it meant giving up on making millions of any given currency.
Realisation that in reality you are always alone (and mummy/daddy aren’t there! 😉 forces you to push through personal fears and come up with something that you can live for. Whether it is a passion, a particular hobby or just a vision that makes you willing to get up from your bed every day. It might be an idea to improve and work on one-self, too. It can be anything! But it must be your own thing.
You already know that this will not be any other human. It will not be a woman. Woman will not make you happy!
I’ve been successful with women before, however somehow every time I had fallen in love and started to think ‘this is it’ (whatever the mythical ‘it’ might be 😉 it always fall apart sooner or later. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
In my pre-Red-Pill times I remember that albeit I knew deep inside that I don’t want to have kids, I felt an internal struggle from time to time, a voice telling me that I somehow want to have a girl. If I ever become a father- I want it to be a girl. Why? I rationalized myself thinking that I simply love women, or that I’ve been with so many that I know them better than men… but it was not it. When I faced this feeling on a level that was deep enough to reveal every hidden side of this issue- it hit me. I preferred my own kid to be a girl because I was thinking that maybe my own child will finally love me properly, as a woman. That finally maybe then I will experience unconditional pure love from a woman. Because I could not meet any grown-up woman who was able to do it. To love me properly. Of course, now I know that it was impossible from the start. It wasn’t even a woman’s fault. They are as they are. I can’t change their nature. I don’t want to. Woman love will never fulfil a men’s life. Always something will be missing from the equation. And of course it’s also not a men fault, it’s part of our own nature.
Walking further down in that direction and the next question that comes up is “why do you want a woman to love you so badly, what do you need it for?”. And my answer was- well… I assume I was too weak to face myself, life, challenges and did not really had found my purpose in life back then. Looking for a perfect love was a way to escape from life and myself. It was like reaching a final destination, after when you can finally rest and care no more. About anything. This was of course a clever misconception of the ego and subconscious, but my rational mind did not saw it before. When I learned about MGTOW everything changed. All nonsense and weird experiences with women suddenly fit into right place, like a 10000 pieces of a complicated puzzle magically put itself together in no time. It was my ‘a-ha’ moment. Several years ago I was afraid. Of being myself, realising who I am and what I want. Of expanding and learning to never give up chasing your dreams. I was afraid of being a man, so to say. Only due to my own stubbornest and dedication to find answers I was able to release myself.. from myself. Or rather a limiting picture of average me that somebody (me? my father? my mother? acquaintances? who knows.) put in my head long, long time ago.
So, to cut this long digression short- being a male in 2015, is basically a choice between being a Beta (where you lie in her arms, comforted after a tough day at work) when you being filled with oxytocin.. being a guy who treats a girl like she was his mother (of course- not directly, but subconsciously) ..and also allowing her to dominate and thus being submissive..thinking that’s how it should be, because otherwise you would lose her and then what. You lose her love. And this always equals catastrophe. Or at least that is how it seems for an average Beta male, naturally.
..or being an Alpha/Sigma (where she lies in your arms, being comforted by you after tough day at work) when you are filled with testosterone and dopamine (plus oxytocin too, because who not likes to hug? 😉
Either she will be a more or less distant copy of your mother and will treat you like a boy/child (and you will like it or don’t know how to fight it) or she will be your girl, subconsciously allowing you to lead and dominate because you will resemble a father figure in her mind. Plus of course – a great lover. 😉 Your girl – not because you will say so, but because she will. See the subtle difference?
I mentioned hugging and being close even if you are an Alpha/Sigma male. This is an important point. I am not some kind of ice-cold, closed-to-receiving-normal-human-emotions bastard that doesn’t appreciate human closeness. I love being close to a woman and often enjoy it that way. But I no longer allow these emotions and feelings to overwhelm me, and dictate my next steps in life. I am a leader of my own life.
I simply know what I want. And I get it.
On my own.
And don’t allow anybody to sell you that bitter pill called ‘oh you need to get married and find somebody, or you will grow old and die alone!’… first of all, we are all alone anyway. Secondly – if you take care of yourself, stay healthy, eat healthy and so on- then you can hook up up to late 50s. And maybe longer, who knows. Dating scene seems to not have any limits. It’s time to get rid of all old paradigms that were valid for our parents and grandparents. We are not them. You don’t believe me? Look at some successful males.. sportsmen, actors and so on. Last time I saw George Clooney he didn’t looked like he needed Viagra lol. It’s all just myths. Other people trying to sell you their products. First they convince you to eat crappy food, to numb yourself in your crappy life, then obviously you get crappy health ..so you can improve your crappy erection with crappy medicaments like Viagra. :)) (with your crappy lover next to you. 😉 Remember that your own approach to your own life is what matters most.
Go and get your fresh slice of life before it will be too late. Don’t be one of those millions of Betas who live mediocre lives trying to convince themselves that this is how it ought to be. If you hate your job- change it. Find the one you will like, at least to the point of being there 8-9 hours five times per week. This really matters. I did this. I quit a toxic job and went for 2 years of vacation. Without a fixed plan set in stone. I adapted to changing conditions. Like a good sailor. I did landed on rocks few times, of course- but I learned how to recognise them from a distance and sail better. Mistakes are normal. With time, they are becoming smaller and smaller. It’s all part of being alive. Everyone was telling me I should get another job before I leave the previous one in order to survive. They were wrong. Remember that you should listen only to yourself. Be brave. The only person who is truly limiting yourself from achieving something you dream of is you.
Aspire higher than all this average societal bullshit. Challenge yourself more. Grow.