I recently advised my colleague- who was dating a 26yo Hungarian girl- to give himself a break from her. It was a curious case, yet perfectly fitting the “Female Nature” truth. He first meet her at a club party. Or rather- she meet him, as he was rather sober and she was under Ecstasy. It was obvious for him that she was into him. She was touching, flirting and following him and he remained neutral. This only increased her attraction towards him. A classic rule.
Yet, what he told me is that he wasn’t attracted to her physically. She had a nice body, but her face was a turn off somehow. Probably it was just average. So, that was a main reason he didn’t made any move towards dating her. Of course, she called after few days and started to pursue him. From the lack of other options at that time he set up a date with her. He told me that he booked a nice place in a tea garden, where they both went. Regrettably, it was a spectacle of Red Flags. It turned out she was addicted to amphetamine in the past, and also dealing drugs (seriously such a dream girl, yeah?!). That was a main reason she left the country and come to the place where my colleague lives now. She was a “strong” female type raised from rough neighborhood, living with her mother (as father died when she was six years old). You might say “well, okay everyone deserves a second chance”. That is true. However, remember that she was taking drugs when they meet for the first time, so it was clear she did not closed that door yet. Also, I was raised in a rather unfriendly neighborhood and never put myself in a shit so nasty that I was forced to leave the country.
My mate- let’s call him David- told me that he didn’t felt anything sexual coming from her towards him. How weird, as on the first party she was all over him. Maybe it was just due to Ecstasy, eh? Well anyway, they shared a good mutual sense of humor. So, he took her to a second place- some cool pub for few drinks. At the end, even that he didn’t felt it at all- he went for a kiss. She said it was a ‘nice end to the evening’. He came back home happy (after all – kissing a new girl always boosts all good hormones in your body, right? That’s how we are all working) but of course with the same impression he had before. Now it was even more obvious- as he was surprised she was selling drugs. You never know. The very fact she told him all this on the first meeting was also a huge red flag.
After several weeks it turned out they listened to the same genre of music (drum&bass) and they meet up with each other on few other parties in the city. That means he started to be accustomed to her. He even took her for some trips outside the city, so that she can see a little bit of his country. He kissed her several times. Hugged few times. And all he got back was mixed signals. He didn’t felt any warmness, openness. Any nice sexual energy coming back.
Once, he kissed her while they were on the party and – as he told me – just before that she told him ‘no!’, and then kissed him too. Maybe she was testing him, or there were too many people around- who knows? As Rolo Tomassi said – “The medium is the message” which means a girl who is cold 85% time you are with her would not turn into a hot sexual demon when you finally got her into a bed. Just doesn’t work like that. She’ll probably be a cold fish 8 out of 10 times. Is it worth it? Of course the answer is no. 🙂
And the more important thing is – does it matter? What I told him was this: “Dave, do you really need to spend two-three months of your life dating a girl which from the start felt toxic, not feminine, unhealthy, insecure cold and passive?” He learned his lesson. He stopped texting her. She tried to contact him three times after that, then forgot about him. Probably she has another guy already lined up by now. Women often say that we are afraid of commitment. It’s not that. It’s a hunger for freedom. Of course they want us to entertain them. As once Roosh said. They want us to be their fucking entertainers. The very moment we stop doing that- they go away.
That is why if you decide to play the dating game at all, you need to choose the very best options out there. Time is your most precious resource. Don’t waste it on someone who will only use you for their own goals. As in case described above, she was just enjoying going on the trips with him- she saw the country yet she gave him mixed signals, so he can chase her and play the “love story” game with him. Of course, at the end it would turn out she was cold as fish (or got some sick toxic approach to sex). In both ways, it wasn’t worth it.
If the girl is really into you, she will show it quickly enough and would not make any problems like this. She will be persistent with her approach. If she wants to fuck you, she wants to fuck you. Period. And she will. The sad truth is that women are swimming in the abundance of everything nowadays. That is why men need to entertain them… or face getting nothing in return. From where it came from? Kindergarten? When the most funny cool boy gets a kiss? Who knows. I don’t want them to change, it’s not possible. Probably not.
My colleague asked me ‘well Datson, why I could not made her my friend and just have nice time together?’
I don’t want female friends. I got one, and she is reminding me why I don’t want them. 😉 If I can spend good time, have fun and hook up with someone or have good time, have fun and nothing else- I choose the first option. Life is to short and I don’t have that much time to spend with girls who want to be chased.