(Lack of) Empathy

Empathy-definition

Empathy
Definition

Empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling. Empathy is known to increase prosocial (helping) behaviors.

Empathy has many different definitions that encompass a broad range of emotional states, including caring for other people and having a desire to help them; experiencing emotions that match another person’s emotions; discerning what another person is thinking or feeling;[6] and making less distinct the differences between the self and the other.[7]

It also is the ability to feel and share another person’s emotions. Some believe that empathy involves the ability to match another’s emotions, while others believe that empathy involves being tenderhearted toward another person.[8] Compassion and sympathy are two terms that many associate with empathy, but all three of these terms are unique. Compassion is an emotion we feel when others are in need, which motivates us to help them. Sympathy is a feeling of care and understanding for someone in need. It can also be understood as having the separateness of defining oneself and another blur.[9]

In the field of positive psychology, empathy has also been compared with altruism and egotism. Altruism is behavior that is aimed at benefitting another person, while egotism is a behavior that is acted out for personal gain. Sometimes, when someone is feeling empathetic towards another, acts of altruism occur. However, many question whether or not these acts of altruism are motivated by egotistical gains. According to positive psychologists, people can be adequately moved by their empathies to be altruistic.[8] [10]

Since empathy involves understanding the emotional states of other people, the way it is characterized is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterized. If, for example, emotions are taken to be centrally characterized by bodily feelings, then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy. On the other hand, if emotions are more centrally characterized by a combination of beliefs and desires, then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy. The ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process. However, the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate[11] and may be achieved unconsciously. Yet it can be trained[12] and achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy.

Empathy necessarily has a “more or less” quality. The paradigm case of an empathic interaction, however, involves a person communicating an accurate recognition of the significance of another person’s ongoing intentional actions, associated emotional states, and personal characteristics in a manner that the recognized person can tolerate. Recognitions that are both accurate and tolerable are central features of empathy.[13][14]
One of the advertised charateristics of modern females is empathy. Of course, as with almost every advertisement the reality isn’t that sweet. Across years of collecting my own experience with females my very own conclusion can only be this: women aren’t capable of feelings of empathy towards other people.

I am not sure whether this is due to their different brain structure or something else. Maybe a fucking alien implant from Mars. Who cares? The very fact is what matters. I am also quite certain that they aren’t even able to fully understand what it means.

I give you one example.

Long time ago I was in a relationship with a girl, let’s name her Angela. I was 20yo, she was 22yo. We were living together. Yeah, I know. Everybody learns on his own mistakes.

Thankfully, I am a quick learner. Just a little stubborn. 😉

I was between jobs for a couple of months and she was working in a hotel as a housekeeper. She got the job because my friend helped to recommend her. Of course, without myself asking him for a favor, she would not get it.

We also decided that if one of us wouldn’t find work then we’ll come back to our home city and then try again next year. It was a promise as big as our attraction back then. When she was without work (at first, I got a part time employment from the agency, but lost it after few weeks as the project didn’t last). she was reminding me about our rule almost weekly. I showed empathy and said that it doesn’t matter, it’s important for us to stick together and help each other, and so on. I really know how she was feeling. I don’t need to explain it in here, men know what it is to feel empathy. We are very emotional creatures. Sometimes I think that this is a little joke played by nature on us. From one side we can be amazingly strong, from the other- we are so vulnerable. Of course, when her circumstances changed and I started to be the one without work, she forgot about our big promise. It turned out it was a game played by her all along. Maybe she was being honest six months earlier when she promised this to me? Maybe her emotions were running wild when she changed her mind? But who cares? That’s not the way how you keep promises. And thinking about what she was thinking was again a sore cause of empathy for me. I shouldn’t try to rationalize her behavior at all. But back then I was young and inexperienced.

When I reminded her about it, she loudly stated that “she won’t get back, because there is nothing waiting for her in her old city”. So, yeah. To hell with our relationship and promises. Trust and honesty is what holds two people together, right? She could just say it to me before- I’d probably take her with me anyway but at least I would be better prepared. If she was thinking coldly how to play it out before the whole journey, then surely something was wrong, right?

After few months (for me still remaining as unemployed) she stated that if I won’t pay back her money for the rent (back then we were just renting a room in a shared flat) she’ll ask some people that were working as a security guys in the hotel to “persuade me” to pay it back. I asked what she meant. She added that if she will do this, “it will be tough for me to go to work in the future with broken legs“.

Yes, you have read that right. She really said that. And I still remember her words. This was the very moment I’ve lost all respect that I had towards her – not only as a woman but as a fellow human being.

It was probably one of the hotel managers from Ukraine. He was a real asshole, who was hiding from the police in his homeland so he wandered to the country we were in as the hotel’s owner was his friend. He convinced her to try and scare me off or something. Do I need to add that she had a romance with that guy, too? And that she was convincing me that she still loved me?

Peace on Earth

Men can be assholes, too. Of course. That dude (somewhere in his middle 30s) was one of them.  People were talking that he was addicted to fucking teenagers back there in Ukraine. It might be true, might not be. She was attracted to him, he was her boss, she was spending eight hours per day in that hotel. And I was without work. Period. Quickly our “big love” evaporated from her heart as soon as the better option showed up. Hypergamy, anyone? Obviously, it wasn’t “better option” at all, but that’s how she saw it back then.

I am not saying that we are all saints. Some of us that pretend to be like that got very bad reputation. Usually they are weak Beta Blue-Pillers trying to play angels in order to score a girl. But women… they pretend that all the time. And they do that because men tend to believe them! They simply keep doing what works for them and we need to call bullshit on that!

To quickly sum it up- yeah, it was one of the many experiences in my life that felt like taken almost straight out of the action movie.

If you wonder how much I was “owing her”. Well, it wasn’t that much. Also, you need to consider that we shared room fee in half, and back in the days it was really cheap- something around 70.00 GBP per week. And we shared everything anyway. Food and other stuff. Bus tickets. I never came back to her and said “you need to pay for the last several months of food that I bought so that I can give you back your part”. After all, without me creating the whole opportunity for her to come with me she wouldn’t get a chance to travel that far, either. Ah, of course you can wonder what opinion you could get for telling your girlfriend stuff like that. You could even get a visit from the police. Gender equality, anyone?

It wasn’t tough for her to pay all on her own, if she was going to live alone she had to pay it anyway, right? We were a couple in love, right? And I wasn’t saying that I won’t pay it back once I get a new job. Never. She brought it up. Maybe deep inside she was feeling guilt for betraying me, so she started thinking that I must be sleeping with someone else on the side? Who knows. In psychology, it’s calling “projecting“. See, I am doing that again- trying to put myself in her shoes. That’s what men do. Women never do that! They simply don’t care how you feel. They care only about themselves.

Probably she needed more space and a way to get rid of me so she can move forward with that dude.

To make a long story short- we broke up soon after that. She moved away from me (oh yeah, I found the place we were living and signed up the agreement. Illusion of responsibility, anyone?)

Half year later she started to have sex with a Filipino chef who was working at Japanese restaurant. She was still coming over to visit me. For sex. She was openly saying that he was too “small” to give her orgasms. I slept with her. Three times. After every time I heard “I love you!“. On the 4th time, I told her to GTFO. She was surprised that I did not wanted to fuck her after I heard that she was using me as her sex toy. Wow. Empathy level over the limit, right?

Another six months later she was sleeping with two guys at once. One was the Filipino dude (showering her with expensive gifts like clothes, mobile phones and wining&dining at the restaurants all over the city) and the second one was a cocaine addict named Rick. That guy had tatoos all over his body and was living in a second hotel- she admitted that he made her feel “safe”. Haha! Yeah… seriously. Another hotel job was where she went after the first hotel manager fired her- yeah, the same Ukrainian dude she was flirting with. Maybe she wasn’t willing to suck him that often, who knows?

And she was still interested in me, too. But at the time I was already sleeping with a 20yo girl from my work with a nice body. It turned out to be my 3rd out of 4 mistakes with women, haha. But that’s a completely different story. I will tell you about it some other time. 😉

I need you to understand that she was a really nice, “good” girl. Everyone was jealous when seeing me with her, back in the days. Maybe moving out from her birth place caused her to loose (previously held tightly) morals. Or maybe that’s how all women are, hmm? They don’t care to pay the bills up, but when you can’t pay them anymore- they instantly turn into egoistic bitches. Men who believe in love (when presented with an opportunity) will probably choose to save their own long term relationship. They shouldn’t do this. Love is a poison. Or should I rather say – believing in “love”. Because that belief is what makes us sick and poisoned. Love in itself, does not exist. 

Yup, that’s all it is in regards to empathy of women. Not much, yeah? 😉

They will never think about something else than their own asses. And I am not saying that they should do it- I don’t find any good reason, really. What I am saying is that men should stop doing that for them. Stop treating them like little princesses. They aren’t divine. They do shit, they fart, they can stink, they can lie, deceive just like us. And on top of that they use “pussy power” over us without remorse. Don’t be that guy that I once was- believing in female honesty, empathy and love. Or suffer the consequences.

Maybe I was just unlucky. After all, I was young and just had another bad experience with a “woman” and “relationship“. It happens. It was just a second time, allright?

Well, it turned out that it had to happen two more times for me to finally understand what it all meant. And that there was nothing wrong with me. Females love to say “if your every relationship was that bad, maybe it’s something wrong with you?! NAWALT!”. Nope.

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That is simply not true and this is their emotional manipulation tactic in works, once again.

My relationships were always turning bad after initial period of being “in love“. Every time the pattern was exactly the same. I was just hesitant to believe that “the whole world” (of females) was indeed sick and dishonest about their motives. And not me. Because, what are the odds? Would you rather believe that there is something bad with yourself or the other half of humanity? Well, it turns out that this is how it is. It’s called Red Pill, and in order to go MGTOW you’ll need to swallow few of these and wake the fuck up before you’ll find yourself with a pregnant female who will not give a fuck about you.

Women are using us, gentlemen. Nothing more and nothing else.

Names were changed for my own peace of mind.
Sources: Empathy – Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/empathy

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3 thoughts on “(Lack of) Empathy

  1. I was exactly that guy, I think most of us were. I was raised that way, you know, to hold womankind in high regard and certainly the pussy power was a factor for me to put them on a pedestal. Finally I realized that they are cold, calculating and manipulative whores (that sums it up entirely!) but are they really all so inhumane? The way for me is to not touch the stove again to see if it’s still hot and it works because I hold almost no desire for women any more.
    However, I’d love to hear your way of dealing with women, since you seem to have way more experience with them than I could ever dream of.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sure you could find people with far more experience with women that I have.
    But what makes one experienced? One can sleep with 20 women and still remain being a very bad lover while someone else can be much more passionate but with lower “count” behind him. I believe the difference is in allowing yourself to truly learn from your mistakes. I know a friend who had 7 or 8 long term relationships (all failed) and now he happily went into 9th, believing that “this time it’s gonna be her!” – where “her” can be described only as his magical belief in a fantasy known among us as “NAWALT/Unicorns”.

    They are cold, calculating and manipulative- that’s true. But only to the extent of how much we allow them to. Battle between the sexes is always resembling a scale- rarely being in balance, though.

    I am not afraid of women. I still use their companionship from time to time, but not as a main point of my life. I still enjoy sex from time to time (for example- currently I do not have any sexual encounters with women and I am perfectly fine living this way. I am concentrated on different side projects that are far more important to me than losing energy and time for females) I stay away from relationships and pregnancy traps. What is important is that I do it all under my own rules. I control 100% of my relations with other people (both sexes) and this way I won’t allow any unwanted behavior to have its impact on me.

    I’d say the most important thing is to learn how to be in control, and how to stay being the one who is in control (of your own life/surroundings). People can affect you only when you allow them to do it. Both in a good and bad way.

    That’s definitely something to think about.

    Like

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