Once in the past I’ve meet a girl. She was having a crush on me. I was somehow forced to meet her daily. She was working in the opposite part of my office and we were the last two leaving the building, not counting the security guy.
This happened when I already established myself as a MGTOW. One evening I decided to walk with her, as usually I was cycling back home using a different path. She was going the other way and I wanted to check the possibility of a shortcut* (as I was doing long commute back then, just like now 😉 )
She was sure that my motives were clear- I must be massively interested in her. That’s what she hoped for, even though I wasn’t giving her too many signals that could be drawn into such conclusions. But of course that was her way of thinking and attraction is not a conscious choice, so I couldn’t help her thinking either.
She cautiously asked “if you don’t want to go with me, you don’t have to” (oh, really?).
The whole way (we walked 20min, I was on my cycle from half of that, so can’t say it was a walk for both of us 😉 she was being negative.
All of the usual symptoms of interests were there (playing with her hair, asking me dozens of personal questions like “where do I live”, “do I have a girlfriend?”, “what I plan to do during Christmas”, walking after me on the pavement as soon as I tried to move away from her etc.) so I wasn’t mistaken. She was heavily into me. Years ago I’d probably act like a typical mindless blue-pill drone and instantly fall in love with her. Or at least decide that I should sleep with her.
Not this time. I thought that I let her make herself valuable to me and prove that she is worth a bit of my personal time.
But instead of that- she was being negative all the time. She started with describing people from our work- one by one, pointing out how shitty they were. Then, she moved to our boss. Same stuff- mostly negative. Next, she covered her workmate- another girl who presumably earned a whole lot more than the others, just for being born in a country where I was living in. She was doing the same job as her. Obviously, this was interesting. I asked her why she is so sure about it, did she saw her payslip or any other definite proof?
She replied that “well, she is living in her home alone so it must be true because she would not be able to afford it otherwise!”.
I was shocked. To see the way her thought train must have been travelling… from knowing that her colleague lives alone to the “inevitable” final conclusion that “well, she has to be earning 15.00 Yuans** per hour, and not 9.00 like me!” was beyond me.
She might inherited the house from her parents. Or got a mortgage when times were economically better. Or maybe she had some benefits. Thousands of possible reasons. What’s important is that it’s not anyone’s business and I don’t see the reason to be hateful either. And it won’t be lawfully possible that she was earning salary better than others for doing the same kind of work, not in that company. I was sure of that.
I tried to joke that she has to tell me something positive about that other girl. So she said that “when she is bored, she goes and talk with her”. I thought to myself “shit, this female is definitely a classic example why I went MGTOW”.
Finally, she started telling me how she moved into the country I was living now, and as expected- it was all but positive. She complained about people, weather, wages and jobs that she did before. Literally everything. And tried to sell me the story how she was mature enough to travel here alone. Well, she added that a bodyguard working in one of clubs was from her country and offered her a room. I quickly noted that “they had a romance” which she of course denied but I read people way too good to believe her words. You can’t control micro-expressions on your face. She was lying. That bodyguard probably meet her when visiting his country and invited her to stay here. She fucked him and then something went wrong. Obviously, it’s hard to tell but it couldn’t end in a nice way.
As I cut the shitty conversation short and said that I need to drive back home, I could see a short uncontrolled gesture, a muscle reaction on her face showing a mixture of disbelief and disgust. Something like saying “how dare you going now, I thought you’re into me!”. Ha! Sorry honey, not this time.
During all that time, we did not had a single moment of “connection” or “mutual exchange of laughter” or even a fucking nice intellectual conversation. There was literally nothing that I could say was increasing my attraction for her. She had to feel that too, right? Women can sense things like that, right? I was hoping for it, but as soon as the next day arrived everything started again. She was still into me. Probably even more.
Also, she said how she is spending all of her money on clothes and that she is not going out anywhere. Sweet. It fits a pattern nicely. A typical toxic girl with her own collection of Red Flags, without integrity and positiveness about people & life won’t be happy and out there spending time doing what she loves- she will be waiting passively at her dead-end job, waiting for her White Knight. Without passions, without anything interesting to do.
And I am sure, one day she’ll catch one up, prepare a pregnancy trap and then… boom!
I was amazed, how she presented herself! Being a total negative person, gossiping badly about everyone and at the end expecting me to “be amazed and get her”. Like she was some sort of a gift. Just wow.
Shouldn’t it feel like you’re having a decent time with someone? Instead, talking with her felt like doing a hard job. Dating – if anything – should be pleasant, fun and rewarding. I think we can agree on that.
Naturally, my intuition was telling me something different- she was a poison. My inner voice was like “get the hell outta here and don’t even think of going into this shit!”. And you know what, I learned to trust such signals.
What happened after that? I need to go now but I will describe that soon, so stay tuned.
PS. She was past The Wall (bow to the Mighty Wall, bitches!) Somewhere around 35. I must admit- she was a nice piece of ass however she was already way too old for me. Yeah. She was that old and still that stupid. Typical.
*Yes, I’ve found a shortcut- it was worth it to spend 20 minutes with her, after all!
**Names and currencies were changed for my own peace of mind.