D for Dog

Feeling depressed, lonely or just need a real faithful friend that won’t leave you as soon as you’ll get into tough period in your life? Do you need a companion? Tired of women who aren’t even able to love you for who you are? Get a dog!
Yeah, I admit it- there are three reasons why women are better than dogs. That’s true.

1. It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with women.
2. Women look good in sweaters.
3. Women leave the room to fart (Okay I admit – just SOME of them)


Now let’s look at the main benefits of having a men’s best friend:

1. Health Boost / Exercise

Whether you like the current weather or not, dogs force you to go outside and take a walk even when you’re not in the mood to. It’s like having your own personal trainer there to motivate you to get off the couch and exercise.

2. Beats depression and bad moods

How can you stay angry or upset after a bad day when you come home to an adorable furry friend who acts like they haven’t seen you in years? In fact, research has shown that it only takes about 15 to 30 minutes with your pet to feel more relaxed and calm. Petting or playing with your dog raises your brain’s levels of dopamine and serotonin, which are associated with pleasure and tranquility!

3. Unlike women – dogs will bring a true loyalty, friendship and love to your life!

A cat decides for itself if it is loyal to you or not (and many are). Dogs, on the other hand, are much more likely to show loyalty. So if you want a friend that’s devoted to you, that’s the better option.

4. Security

If you live in an isolated location or on your own, and it makes you feel vulnerable, then a dog can be a big reassurance. I’ve heard that rather than a large dog, it’s smaller breeds that are more likely to react if they hear a potential intruder! Certainly it’s the little dogs that seem to make the most noise!

5. Company

If you live alone, your faithful dog can be great company. Remember that a dog is for life. There are so many fucked up irresponsible people who just throw dogs away. For example, they are buying a puppy for Christmas and as soon as their little kids get bored of them- it’s over. For me it’s the very essence of hypocrisy and egoism.

And, for the end- a great summary:

47 Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Women.

Dogs don’t cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs don’t mind if you urinate outside.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog’s time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink.
Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
Dogs don’t shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dogs parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G album.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It’s legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs don’t worry about germs.
Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.
Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
Dogs never want foot-rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
Dogs can’t talk.
Dogs aren’t catty.
Dogs seldom outlive you.

11 Reasons Why Dogs And Women Are Alike.

Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
Both tend to have “hip” problems.
Neither understand football.
Both look good in fur.
Both are good at pretending that they’re listening to every word you say.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Both constantly want back rubs.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
Both put too much value on kissing.


You can also be interested in a great food for dogs (and humans) – here (just remember to not try it at home!) 😉
PS. Thanks to http://www.jimpoz.com/jokes/ for the list.


2 thoughts on “D for Dog

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