Hello fellow MGTOWs!
As stated in one of my previous posts – (also on Reddit) from the group of people that replied with their suggestions, one was randomly selected and interviewed by me. It happened to be one of fellow Redditors- DEG23. You can ask what is exactly the point in publishing an interview with someone who you probably don’t know? Personally, I believe that sharing opinion between various “ordinary” men is important for the whole MGTOW movement. I personally believe that through this way everyone can see that this community consist of mostly normal men, and every single one of them has something interesting to say that can benefit rest of us.
After all, our group of men consist not only of Barbarossa, Sandman or Stardusk – nor it should. This is something that might turn out to be a good regular series here on Red Male Hummingbird. We shall see how it will go. And now – let’s get straight to the point then, shall we?
Hello DEG23! Many thanks for sharing your opinions with us. Okay, let’s start as there are many things I’d like to ask.
1. First, can you say a few words about yourself- how old are you, in which country do you live and what do you do in your life, daily?
I’m a 29 year old from Sydney Australia who took the MGTOW approach about three years ago, although I didn’t know what MGTOW was until a little over a year ago. At the moment my life is taken up with a full time job working with a medical association. Not only is it great for income but I have a genuine interest in science and medicine so it’s a job I enjoy. Outside of that I enjoy sketching, writing, volunteering with a local wildlife group and meditation. I’m still searching for that passion I can dedicate most of my time and energy to but despite that I’m actually enjoying life at the moment.
2. How did you find out about the whole “MGTOW” thing, and how would you describe it to a person who knows nothing about it? What made you interested in it?
I was browsing an online news site one day and saw an article about the lack of decent men in the area I grew up in. Out of curiosity I read the article and sure enough women were complaining they couldn’t find any perfect men earning a six figure salary who owned their own home. I then noticed in the comments section a lot of men were claiming MGTOW was the only way to go these days. I searched MGTOW and quickly identified with the majority of the men with the MGTOW mindset. Seeing how I had already decided to focus on my own happiness and interests, I quickly become drawn in to the community.
As for explaining it to someone else, I’m still working that out. However, whenever I get hit with the “Are you married, girlfriend etc.?” I essentially tell people I don’t have the time for a relationship because I’m too busy pursuing my goals and interests. For the most part it seems to work.
3. Do you have any particular experience with females that you would like to share with the rest of us?
Dating wise I haven’t really encountered anything out of the ordinary; women playing games, saying one thing but wanting another etc. In that regard and after hearing some guy’s stories I think I’ve been quite lucky to avoid any major drama. I do have one story that I guess was the tipping point for me. About four years ago I worked for a tech start-up dealing with AI technology. It was a dream job for me and I had some amazing experiences working there. It was a small company, mostly men but there were two women high up who called a lot of the shots. They always came across as very understanding and wanted to give off the vibe that the company was like a family i.e. everyone looks after one another etc. About two years after starting, things were getting a little tough financially and everyone had to knuckle down.
The two women on the surface offered their support to help everyone best they could and the guys all banded together and really looked out for one another. Of course what we didn’t know was the two women were working out deals to save themselves and send the rest of us up the river. Sure enough, a few months later the company was bought out and the deal was the two women got to keep their jobs with the new company and the rest of us were kicked. The worst part was, trying to explain what happened to female friends was met with sympathy for the two women for “making the tough decisions”.
4. Where do you see yourself in next 5 years time in regards of your development as a male?
This is probably going to come off as deflective but I don’t really see myself as a male. I don’t mean I identify as one of the 50+ genders they dream up in gender studies classes but when I approach something in life, I don’t approach it with the self aware mindset of a male. This is just my opinion but I think if you approach something saying “I’m going to do this as a male” you’re buying into the socially constructed ideas of gender. I think to truly exist as a male, it shouldn’t require any thought and should be instinctual. Having said that, in five years time I hope to be continuing to pursue life’s pleasures and my own happiness wherever that takes me.
5. What do you think about our current society and gender relations? Many people are saying that females have never been so privileged socially before. Others are believing that it is men’s fault. What are your thoughts about that?
I think society, speaking solely about genders, has always been balanced to a degree and by that I mean up and downs for both genders but in recent times I think that balance has flipped upside down and now women have the upper hand in society. If you look back to the early 20th century a man’s word meant something, now days it seems when it comes to a man vs a woman, a woman’s word seems to carry more weight. So I certainly think that women are privileged with how much society is willing to bend over backwards for them.
As for it being men’s fault I don’t think men made a decision and it backfired, but rather so many men are blind to what’s going on. Even today I know guys who believe women are oppressed and are treated unfairly. Not to mention how many men blindly follow what the media tells them. I believe women’s wants are like an iceberg in that we only see a small fraction of what they’re truly going after. The problem is society gave women an inch and they took a mile and I don’t think men saw it coming.
6. Do you think there are any disadvantages of being an MGTOW? What was the most challenging part for you when going your own way?
Personally I don’t see any negatives so far as they affect me. I think the main disadvantage for a lot of guys is the negative light MGTOW is placed in by society and the subsequent shaming and outcasting but I’ve always been the kind of guy who preferred solitude so I haven’t really experienced any negative aspects like shaming. Like I mentioned earlier whenever I tell people I want to focus on my happiness and interests they generally see that as a positive.
I do think in time as more destruction is caused by women and more and more men GTOW, MGTOW will become the norm, or at least one of the norms for male society. The best part about MGTOW is there are no rules, which themselves usually lead to negatives, but if you do encounter a negative in life as a MGTOW you have the freedom and power to change and/or overcome it.
7. Any advice for newbies, who just found out about MGTOW?
Take your time. Despite not being introduced to the MGTOW community until after I figured myself out, it still took time to shake off years and years of social conditioning. I know a lot of “outsiders” like to claim we are angry and there is an element of truth to that, hence why time is important. One of the reasons I like visiting MGTOW spaces is to treat it as a source of therapy and venting. I know I complained about women and gender roles in the past and it certainly helped me so I think going on a rant about the women who wronged you and how all women are the same etc. is a healthy outlet, not to mention all those news stories that sift through are good for a laugh and good for the soul. The best piece of advice I think I can offer to the newcomers is to write your own rules, while there are plenty of guys who will tell you how they live their life and what MGTOW means to them, it’s up to you to decide what you will do and how you will do it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
8. Do you believe there is a healthy way for a mature, developed male to be involved with a female?
To be perfectly honest I think it all comes down to the female in question and the nature of the involvement. I still interact with plenty of women, have female friends etc. and without sounding arrogant, I make the rules. I know what I will and will not tolerate and the moment someone crosses that line I’m out. I think that’s the problem with a lot of guys who get burned. They reach that line but whether it’s because of their little brain or negative thoughts like being alone etc., they extend the line a little bit further and give in to a woman. Then the next time they hit that line, they extend it a little further again until eventually they reach a point where they have no room left to move and it ends badly.
I know some guys say all women are the same but I think there are some women who are willing to work with you and see a relationship, whether romantic or platonic as a partnership that involves some give and take on both parts.
9. What about kids, do you want them in the future? Tell us a bit more about that.
When I was younger I wanted them but since ‘waking up’ as it were, I see them in today’s society as more of a risk/burden then a positive. I will admit, there is a small part of me that would love to be a father but at this point in time my own happiness is doing a great job of suppressing that. Besides I would need a woman involved and it’s been a long time since I’ve met a woman who I thought would make a great mother, usually it’s the opposite thought running through my head.
10. What about sex? How do you personally deal with our natural libido?
Get the urge, rub one out. I know there’s always the hooker/escort route but that has never interested me. Not from a moral standpoint or anything, I personally thinks it’s a great option for guys who want that psychical experience but don’t want to have to deal with leg work and potential jail time that comes from dealing with other women of today’s society. The belief I’ve always had towards sex is that I also want that emotional element to accompany the psychical and I don’t think I can find that with escorts.
One thing I will say and I don’t know if this is shared but I had a much higher sex drive when chasing women back in the day than what I do now. Since going my own way and focusing on other aspects of life I rarely have the urge these days.
11. Can you recommend any YouTube channels, blogs, books or websites that you visit often? Bear in mind that they don’t need to be related to MGTOW content.
I must admit, I’m not a huge social media/internet person these days so this will be a short list. In terms of MGTOW content I enjoy Trevor Freeman’s channel, he also writes The Ordinary Life blog. He produces a variety of content plus I can relate to him and some of his life experiences. Terrence Popp is another channel I like. He’s not specifically MGTOW but covers a wide variety of subjects relating to the modern woman. I’ve also been getting into some of the smaller news channels like Info Wars and Rebel Media. They’re more right winged than I’m used to but I like how they cut through the nonsense and use logic in their opinion (to a degree). Apart form that the only other channel I watch is videogamedunkey. His videos are more on the absurd end of the scale but he’s always good for a laugh.
If anyone is into spirituality I recommend the Tiny Buddha website. It’s great for personal development and has a variety of pieces on meditation and ways to overcome negative elements of life.
12. How do you usually spend your free time?
Usually my free time is filled with meditation, listening to music, writing and watching movies. I occasionally play video games but I’ve been losing interest in them in recent years. Lately I’ve been getting into cooking and trying new recipes etc. so I’ve been out and about at different markets and even taken a few classes. I also decided I want to pursue film making so I’ve been experimenting with that also.
13. Last question – what is your personal opinion on this statement: “A human male, in order to understand what it means to be a man, has to seduce and sleep with at least few women in his life so that his experience becomes empirical and not only theoretical”?
I don’t think there’s any truth to it and to be honest it sounds like something from the mouth of a guy who values sex as some sort of milestone or achievement in life as opposed to simply one of life’s pleasures. I think the whole concept of sex and masculinity has been culturally created as a form of male competition. I know a lot of tribes and cultures have rituals and tasks that boys or young men have to carry out in order to be considered a man by the rest of the community but I don’t know of any that have sex as that mark.
What determines a man is up to an individual, so it would certainly be understandable if some men view sex as a gateway to male accomplishment and I would argue to a degree that sex and more importantly, seduction could be seen as a form of achieving masculinity given that it is displayed so often in the animal world.
Having said that I don’t have a perfect understanding on what it means to be a male and can’t really dictate to others what it means either, I just know that going my own way and doing my own thing has never made me more comfortable as a human male before.
Thank you so much for your time – I wish you most of luck in the future and all the best!