Or rather should I say – Fee-males? As there’s always a price to pay? They act upon their strange biological instincts that work towards preserving continuation of our species. They blame us, men, for being primal and brutal, fighting in “senseless” wars like we were still living in caves yet they do almost the same on their own part. Being clueless and worthless in terms of relationships in XXI century.
I remember when I was 22 years old and still strongly believing in love (albeit wondering why my second LTR just turned out blue and myself being lied to, betrayed and cheated on). I was dating a 21yo chick. I remember telling her various stories about myself, falsely thinking that she must really be into me. She seemed to be listening. I was wrong. She was into what I was going to give her. This is a huge difference. You can be into a car seller, or into the car he is trying to sell you.
My Toxic Mother
She was abusive, controlling and overprotective. My father, who was indulging in drinking alcohol excessively was definitely not a typical Alpha male. He was Beta and in order to hide his own insecurity, fear and weakness he became abusive, controlling and aggressive. Why he was constantly in fear? Addictions. Alcohol, caffeine, nicotine. All this mixed on a daily basis and for a period of many, many years which in turn made his brain act in this way. If he’d only know that all he must do in order to feel better, feel normal is to stop. Then yeah. But he never made that effort. Not really. After all, even if he did and I just didn’t noticed – he failed.
So, she was trying to “protect” me and as he was abusive towards her, she shifted her controlling patterns onto me. This continued even after my father was long gone after a divorce. I had to move out from her. From that place, from that country. Forever. Paradoxically, maybe that’s why my feelings toward love and having kids became the way they are today? I mean, I always felt that I don’t want kids and all. I know that this was caused by my fucked up childhood. Later on I’ve found out about women and that love doesn’t work in the same way for both genders. It was such a relief! I was finally able to not feel guilty for not wanting to have kids. Because the fact is that I did not wanted to have them even when I was 18, 20 or 23 years old. Back then I was a Blue Piller, a White Knight. Trying to save women from themselves and thinking that this way they will save me from myself. Well, you see -they were telling me “you’re still too young, you will want kids later on, you will see!”. Both women and men were telling me this.
You think that mothers are different? Think again.
Maybe you weren’t planned. Maybe you were an accident. Maybe they will never tell you the truth. Maybe your father was drinking too much too, because he was forced into a pregnancy trap.
What is even more stupid is that even if your family/mother/father were almost flawless and perfect, the way you were raised would put you in the very same position. Default mode- blue pill. The whole way out of being a White Knight is the same for every one of us. What makes us different is that not everyone takes this path that allows him to raise and become a Man.
Who a real man is? A Man who doesn’t need a female in order to feel complete – but a female needs him in order to feel complete.