All of them gossip. The level of it just makes me wonder. How a man can remain a mystery to a woman, if he tells her about everything there is to know about himself?
Most information about other men women get from… other women. And other men, too.
Because somehow other men often tell women a lot more about everything. They tell them not only about casual gossip but also things that they spare from their male friends – for example about that video with the cute cat they saw last night. Maybe they believe women have deeper and more complex emotional system and they will understand them better than men? This is not only not true, but it’s actually quite the opposite.
Women have less complex understanding of emotions and they don’t have capabilities to feel them on the same level as men. All what we do is just lying to ourselves. We are projecting our own desires, fantasies (to be understood) and dreams onto them. Of course, this is the part from where our biggest disappointments come back to chase us later on. It’s like expecting an ant to learn how to fly a commercial airliner – and then getting a depression out of the realization that there’s no ant on this planet that could do it. So, men tend to tell women not only about casual gossip, funny cat videos (that they are too shy too show their other male friends) but also about what they are really thinking about other people. Both men and women. Things like:
“Jack, he is very intelligent but he is not wise! He has some charisma, but he’s an asshole! Better be careful with him!”
“Ashley, she’s nice but I think she slept with James when his GF was on a work trip.”
And so on. It’s truly unfortunate but it seems that men do not understand that every information they give freely to a woman is going to circulate. Even if they will swear on the grave of their own mother that they won’t tell anybody! This is how honest women are. This means nothing. When you catch her when she is lying you cannot do much, either. Especially if you’re in a marriage or a relationship where you two live together. It’s a nightmare.
Parting ways, that’s how it’s called in business.
If you are not married or not living together then you can of course end it up or limit your time with such dishonest person. And hopefully you’d have the guts and self-respect to do it, because so many men are agreeing to live a life that feels like reaching only half of their true potential. Or less than that. And it’s so sad to see this all around me sometimes. Remember, that when someone doesn’t respect you or your values, does give you a hard time or does not keep up his/her word – that person should be missing your presence and time from his/her life. This is the only way they can learn. Of course, people who lie rarely change. They have that operating system called “Lie 2000” installed, and booting it up won’t help. They should erase the fucking HDD! Haha. Won’t happen, either. So the best thing you can do is to limit the damage they can do to yourself and go your own way.
Coming back to the main topic – men are telling women their secrets or what they really think about others probably just to gain some sort of leverage in their eyes. They think that women will believe their version of the story or think how wise they are (in figuring out all these things about other people). Women know that what you are sharing are just your personal opinions, nothing more. They know that no opinion is objective enough to be ultimately valid – they are master gossipers themselves, remember? So instead of praising your intelligence, they are just building your psychological portrait, with a nice list of your weak points so that they can use it against you during your next irrational quarrel with them – again, this is in their nature, it’s not a conspiracy. 😉
Also, what I have noticed is that they become increasingly anxious when they encounter a male who does not act like a typical personal entertainer they are so used to these days.
It’s like the fact that they cannot really break my armor makes them uneasy. And of course a bit curious – from the other point of view. They will try to “train” you, to push you. To “teach” you how you should behave around them and how to treat them. That’s the only thing they are good at, regrettably.
So, in order to limit any personal or professional damage that can come from gossiping women (or men) just limit the information that you’re spreading out to anybody to something you’re absolutely okay with being forwarded to other people – even to those you don’t even know. I don’t gossip and I don’t give anybody good reasons to gossip, either. They will talk anyway, but at least I know it’s all created by their own imagination as they don’t know me at all. Remember that all they want to do is take away your energy. They feed on our vital sources in a very similar way to the other females from the animal kingdom. And one thing is certain: we’ve been promised a far better life when we were young.
Unfortunately, in order to remain sane and strong on this planet we are required to live very cautious and lonely lives, sometimes. Thankfully inside of my heart I am never alone. I am with me, myself and I. And that’s all what I really need. There never wasn’t anyone else, really. This makes me very calm.
World goes by. Panta Rhei.
See you next week.