Young Chick Wants Me

Young chick wants me

Things in my new job already settled a bit. Everything is great, people are amazing and I am very happy about it. There’s one 26yo girl who is really attracted to me. She is a very good looking HB8. She has a boyfriend. At least that’s what I can tell from looking at her personal profiles from over the web. As someone who knows something about women I know that this unfortunately means nothing. She might be bored by him. Or not being in love and just looking for a replacement. This also tells me that dating her would mean she’ll be in a very rough emotional state – and I don’t really want to mess around with some jealous ex either.

Also, she might be attracted to me just because she sense my confidence and the fact that I am not chasing after her (or trying to impress her just like every other male in the office). Either way, my mind starts to play tricks on me. She is gorgeous – she comes from the far east, from one of the hot countries. She looks healthy, knows her value and is young which is an additional boost to me. All these 35+ year olds that are curious about me at work have nothing to offer when compared to the freshness, youthfulness and spontaneity of this girl. And the way she smells… oh my god… Long live the youth!

If I only had all this knowledge I posses now when I was 23… life is not fair.

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When I think “okay, what can happen if I go after her…” then immediately I think how much money I will need, how much time and effort I need to put into all this – and how little of that money and time I will have left afterwards. And what I will get back? Sex, companionship and a bit of new experiences. Well, it feels like I am getting old because if I was 20 I would rush into this without thinking. On the other side, is there anything else in life (except experiences) worth pursuing? Isn’t the unpredictability of the whole situation what makes it exciting? I certainly don’t want to spend the best years in my life being alone all the time. I want to have good memories instead of just regrets that I did not tried something when it was in front of me.

It’s literally not possible to be active in any relationship and also live your own life as normal. I would need to put off my personal plans for the next half of the year  – and they are important plans to me (like moving out to my own place in the middle of 2017). If I won’t be too involved, then of course she’s going to get hurt or/and my reputation will be damaged (“you nasty bastard, you just used her!”).

It’s always men’s fault. When a woman does bad things, then it is  “don’t worry dude, NAWALT!”. And of course, I won’t do it – we are working together. I don’t find this idea very pleasant. But from the other side, she’s exactly the type of a girl that I wanted. Yeah, I still have my “dream girl list of qualities”. Haha, silly me. Also, I am single for a long time already. But yeah, I don’t care. Don’t worry guys. I just think it out loud. Every woman is the same. AWALT. It’s not worth it and certainly not with someone from work.

It is so funny how my male mind tries to create that fantasy dreamy story – how “we” could be really happy as a pair and how many great things we could achieve or experience together. Isn’t it how our brain behaves exactly every time when we are starting to be attracted to someone new? We create all these imaginary things in our head and then we project them onto that person. But the reality is always different, always less great. Not because of our dreams, but because women don’t dream in the same way. They want us, yes – but only as a tool, as something they need in order to achieve something. While men dream about companionship… a real relationship and a true union of the body, mind and soul. In the past I tend to call me and any-given-girlfriend “us“. But there were no “us“. It was only me and her. Relationship doesn’t exist. It’s in our heads. We are rationalizing everything.

Another paradox is the fact that if you think you can be with a younger girl, then be honest with yourself- if you’re (just like me) in middle 30s and you’re barely able to handle tantrums (and all that crazy behavior) of say, 35 year old chick, then how the hell you are going to suffer through everything that sits in the head of a 26 year old? That’s another cruel trick of our nature – girl so young will have completely different world view and ways of spending her free time. She’s probably still drinking her ass out every weekend, partying like crazy – just like I did when I was 26. Fuck, youth passes so quickly… and I am not even old yet! But already too old for that! So, hypothetically if I won’t be playing her fatherly figure, what role I can play? She can introduce me to her friends and I’d be that “old one”. So I’d say, better for her to stay with her two years younger (he’s 24) boyfriend.

We’ve had a serious conversation

In the meantime, I look back at the so-called relationship of the insecure guy/Mr Needy and Kristi. I was talking with her two days ago and I’ve asked her how it was going. She said (we didn’t spoke for a week or two) that it’s “allright now, they had a really serious conversation and so far it’s fine”. I’ve said to her “Oh, great! You guys just started dating and already have some “serious conversations, how nice” – she replied “Yeah, I know…” with a typical long stare.

Now, think about it. This is how relationships are usually going. Arguments, stupid drama, “serious conversations” leading nowhere and giving a false sense of security.

Of course, the more insecure both people are, the bigger the drama. 😉

Perfect Guy

So, when I was in my pre Red Pill/MGTOW stage I believed that I was special. 
I felt that every woman would want me and I literally didn’t had much competition. I was the perfect guy in the sea of assholes. I was fascinated by women (and dedicated to them). I was defending their views and was always kind. After all, being kind means you’re a good person, right? Well, it does… but it doesn’t make you more attractive in their eyes. In my Blue Pill days I was convinced that every woman would want to be with me and that I could be with every one of them. It was just a matter of time – so that I could work on them for “long enough”.
I believed that I knew the key to their hearts. I was so full of myself.  In fact, I didn’t realized that I wasn’t the one controlling the situation. They were. They knew who I was back then. They knew that I was a pleaser and how to use that knowledge against me. They knew I could be their personal servant and that I could not help myself but just “fall in love” with them (and want to be in a long term relationships). They can easily sense that. It doesn’t make them wet (only at the start, but it’s always like that with a new lover) but it is useful for them instead.
But what really makes them excited is someone who isn’t a pleaser, who isn’t too kind, and who don’t give much shit about what they do or think. Someone who can stand up for himself. Someone who has a vision of who he wants to be, has a plan for his life (or at least the next 5 years 😉 ) and who don’t care what others are saying.
This is who I am now. 
The biggest paradox of this situation is of course the fact that women are much more interested in me by now, but I am not moved by this even by an inch.
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18 thoughts on “Young Chick Wants Me

  1. Hit it, and then quit it if it becomes work. My only regrets are the opportunities I passed up, because I was looking for feelz.

    And if you think it’s bad now, wait until you are 53 and some hot 33 year old gets interested in you. It’ll fuck you up good. Been there, still feelin the hurt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But that’s because you’re too old to be with a 33 year old? Or because it’s easier to fall for them? Please do elaborate… As for the girl – I’m sitting literally two chairs next to her. Too close. I’ll wait until our team moves elsewhere. Then we will have more space. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Both? And come on, you know what an ego boost it is when a much younger woman starts flirting with you. The problem is that many of them have the mentality of a 16-year-old. It’s almost like playing a game to them, instead of actually being a relationship. And it’s just too fucked up to try to figure out. Although I will admit that the one I’m talking about has an extra special helping of crazy.

    But it’s definitely not just her. Yesterday one of her coworkers clued me in on something going
    on with one of their coworkers. More stupid games over nothing, but this may end up costing her her job if she doesn’t smarten up.

    Moral of the story…

    Bitches be crazy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And in the interest of full disclosure, I had been in monk mode for several years. So I am probably taking it a little harder, then either a player or just any normal guy who is not as damaged as I am. lol

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Women like to be treated like children

      ”Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, and foolish, and shortsighted – in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strictest sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best of intentions, could do in her place.” — Arthur Schopenhauer, On Women (1851)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. What a great citation! And I can only applaud to this as I’ve been feeling this my whole life. They cannot grasp sometimes very simple things like case and effect, logic, consequences and so on… their brains have limited capabilities. We all know that. These are the facts. But we are still looking an equal partner in them. Want to have an equal partner on all fields? Become a gay. Hah! But of course, that’s not a solution for us.

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    3. I agree with you. The fact that they are behaving like that also means there’s no big difference whether you’re 35yo and dating a 23yo… or 53yo and dating a 33yo… they just stop developing very early. Men and relationships can have huge influence on them, but in most cases is either bad influence or no influence at all. Or it’s too late for them to “change”. Our only problem is the view that they should be treated as equals or even better than us. Instead we should step up and fully become what we are capable of – the pinnacle of this race haha. Unfortunately, being on the top makes us very lonely too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you are getting a bit ahead of yourself thinking she is into you…
    Ask her out a la “I think you’re cute, let’s go for a drink” and take it from there…if she goes, try to take to take her to bed; if not, forget about her and keep fighting the good fight 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Again, there’s still a long road from finding someone being attractive to you to going further. Especially if you are working with that person and are in an official relationship (her). This is why work environment is bad for inviting a girl to get into your ‘frame’ because it’s tough to be intimate with her (1:1) like during a normal date. I already have more interrogation data about her- will post about it next week.

      Like

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