This sound obvious.
There is one guy in my new job who was training me for the first two weeks. He is in his middle 30s and a very nice & reasonable guy. Definitely not a pushover when it comes to males. But when it comes to women… he just lacks the knowledge. He doesn’t know how to behave when they are “playing” with him – even when it’s a bit similar to how they “play” with me, he just doesn’t want to “hurt” them. Or offend them. He plays it very safe. Always trying to put the steam off from every dodgy situation. They are women, right? One should not offend them or be too harsh.
He is leaving next week. He’s coming back to his country where his wife and a small kid awaits. He is planning to build a house for them. A typical scenario. We were talking for a while during today’s morning- about everything. Of course, I told him that I don’t feel any connection to my own country anymore and after over 10 years of living in other countries it would be weird if I still was. Naturally, he was visiting his home often. He got reasons for it.
There is this weird way of Blue Pill men who got caught up in the pregnancy trap to always try and shovel their lifestyle onto yourself. To them, it feels like wisdom. He is a really nice guy and I like him, but of course I have to stop the conversation mid-air and quickly change the topic to avoid any confrontation. Because these people just can’t fucking get it. They can’t fucking get that the fact I don’t want kids doesn’t mean I haven’t matured yet, or that I “haven’t meet the right person yet” or whatever. That it’s my fucking choice to live my own life the way I want and not how society expects.
He told me that: “Well Datson, you could go back and buy a house over there…”
Me: “Yeah, but I don’t feel connection to the country where I was born anymore”
Him: “Yeah, but what about kids?”
Me: “I don’t want to have kids” (and there goes the fucking classic sentence)
Him: “I was the same, but you know, sometimes you can’t foreseen everything”
Me: “Especially with the quality of women out there…”
Him: “You didn’t meet the right one yet…” (oh pleeeease!)
Me: “Still, most of them can’t live up to good standards.”
Him: “There are a lot of them that can, there are exceptions” (I am sure his wife is of course one of such perfect snowflakes – and don’t you worry, below you will find out why she isn’t 😉 )
Me: “But exceptions do not create the rule”
Him: “You don’t want kids, but you will…” (I love hearing this, since I was 20yo people were telling me the same stuff and they still do…I should bet serious money on that “prediction”)
Me: “Maybe in my next life… in this I am too busy doing other things”
Him: “I believe that living for yourself is empty” (WTF dude?! Also, after a brief pause he added:) “But it’s just my opinion”
Me: “Well.. Gee…I don’t know…. Some people need to have kids because otherwise their life would not have any sense. I am not one of those people.”
Him: “But being alone is not good… you’re just lonely” (typical Blue Pill mentality – being alone = suffering and/or nothing interesting to do with his life)
Me: “It really depends…”
Him: “And you can’t plan these things…”
Me: “That’s why I care about contraception…”
Him: “I was paying attention to that, too…” (Aha! Here we are! This means either the typical “condom fail” or she was on pills, but in a magical way they somehow stopped working – of course, we don’t know the truth. We can only speculate on the facts we already have. But isn’t it like that every time you hear about someone becoming a father? Isn’t it always by some weird strange coincidence that the girl gets pregnant? Isn’t it so? How many times you hear “yeah we both planned it” and you feel this is the true story? It’s almost never a decision made by both partners. Why? I don’t know. Maybe the group of men who really want to have kids is pretty small. That’s why women are tricking us into pregnancy. They know that we would probably never be “ready”. And of course they don’t want to be in a relationship with us just for the sake of it. They go into it in order to create a family, to breed. How the hell he took care of the contraception but she still got pregnant? If I was still in my Blue Pill years, I’d be like “yeah dude, accidents happen”. No, they don’t. They are being made. Period. )
Me: “Oh, I see”
Him: “You still need to mature in order to get to the point that you should take care of someone else in life except yourself.”
Then I just changed topics as I felt there was no point in going there anyway. Well, I am sorry but do I need to mature before I decide that I need kids in my life? Is the decision to have kids equaling maturity? Of course not. Was he mature enough so that he decided to have kids? No, his girl got pregnant in not really clear circumstances and probably just caught him in a pregnancy trap. So, he wasn’t mature but since he was faced with this problem he took the challenge and became a father. Most men would do this, even if they don’t love the woman or don’t believe she should have kids at all. Then, everyone suffers. But it’s for the kids! Haha.. what a joke. Then, the kids suffer even more because their parents don’t fucking love each other and aren’t made for each other, too. Is this a solution to the lack of love on our planet? Definitely not. So, he matured through the point of no return – when she forced him to become a father. Cool. Good for him because it seems that he didn’t had any idea for his own life anyway. This way somebody else decided for him. He can relax now. He knows what he needs to do. It’s easy for him now. Is he a mature person by the fact that he was put into this golden jail by his wife? Maybe he mistakes being a complacent slave with being mature. Because for me, part of being mature means being knowledgeable enough in order to avoid traps like this.
No, I don’t want kids not because I am not mature. But because I just don’t fucking want them. You can call me and my life “empty” if you want. You already proved how mature you were: by allowing a woman to caught you into unwanted pregnancy. You speak about the purpose of life, but it takes you 10 minutes of conversation with a random dude like me to mention on a side-note that “oh well, this pregnancy wasn’t really planned, ya know…”.
Why people just can’t get the simple fact that whether you want to have kids or not is just like choosing your own lifestyle, your own life? It’s not a magic pill to happiness or maturity. These fathers are saying things like that because – well – they don’t have anything else to say. They don’t have any other option now. They can’t do anything. And they know they are stuck. So, let’s at least brag bullshit about maturity.
And I really like this guy. I feel so sorry for him. But, maybe he’s at least partially happy. He would be really unhappy alone… E. Villar said that some men are longing after being enslaved.
Oh well. I don’t need to explain this to you, guys. You already know it.
Have a great week!
PS. Would you want to have kids with someone who lies to you in order to get pregnant? I would not.