Baby’s got a temper!
Life is so ironic sometimes. I’d say karma! Hahaha. I’ve just wrote about how saving women leads only to more problems. It turned out that the girl, that is into me won’t be a nice catch (for me) anymore. She is young, yes. And pretty. But that’s about it.
We talked a bit 1:1. Her friend was off today, so she was eating lunch alone. She must be tired of all the Blue Pillers trying to impress her, because her initial reaction wasn’t too great. But then she tried to correct herself and was more involved in the conversation than she should. It took her maybe one minute to say “I have asthma”. I don’t even know why she said it. It came out of nowhere, haha. Yet, you can see her smoking cigarettes during parties and all. FB is really a stalkers dream. 😉 I don’t even mention FBI/CIA/NSA and the rest of them. 😉
Okay, she is young. I was smoking too, I was naive. I don’t blame her. She might be trying to prove herself and the rest of the world that she is healthy. But still… I wonder…
Why a girl that likes you says something like that during first solo conversation with you? Does that raise your attraction level in her or not? And if she knows anything about attraction levels or just thinks that people will want to be with her no matter what? Is she that spoiled? She might be.
But the fact that she mentioned this illness at the very beginning… I think it is either very important to her and it creates a lot of who she is (“I’m sick, don’t you understand!! It’s serious!”) or she tells about it to get special treatment (“I’m sick, I need special care! I need more love! Daddy?!“). Of course, the most healthy option would be that she tells this so that everybody knows about it from the very beginning so that nobody is surprised later on. Or maybe she wants to show up as being a strong girl. Somehow I don’t believe in that last option. What do you guys think about it?
There is also one possibility, albeit very minor. I told my team leader about a specific health issue that I have. I had to do it for obvious reasons. When I was visiting her FB profile, I spotted pictures from a recent party. She went there with other girls from work including the Young Girl. I am speculating here, but if my TL did not kept the confidentiality regarding my issue (which is possible- she is a woman after all and all women gossip as hell!) and told the young chick about it, she might think that it’s okay to tell me that rather intimate thing because somehow “it makes us similar” (albeit my health issue has nothing to do with asthma etc.). You see, it’s too much thinking and it’s probably not true. Also it just struck me- having asthma is a debilitating illness at times . And it is quite intimate thing for sure. Why would anyone brag about it so freely if not for gaining some sort of pity/compassion? Just like some people wear their struggles in life like a giant stone on their back.
For what I think… well, I am not convinced. I think she said that like a manifesto. “This part of my life was/is fucked.” Old Chinese proverb tells that “Body becomes ill at the very end”. Before that, there’s an ill soul, bad emotions, no love. Fear, hate, anger. Sadness and disappointment. She was born in the far east. Her mother, however, is from Europe. And she lives here with her. Her father made 4 kids and went back to his country. (Woo-hoo mister! Applause!) She came back here because “there’s no freedom there“. She visits her father once or twice per year.
This means lack of a strong father figure through her life. This means being raised by her mother only, and growing up with her sisters. Very feminine company… this bothers me. She seems to be very sensitive regarding her physicality. I just sense that. This means her sexual side would be exactly the same – like an amoeba. Or an cold fish. But more like an selfish amoeba who can’t really care that much about participating in making love. Girls like that use men as a glorified masturbation object. They don’t make love with you, they don’t fuck you. They masturbate themselves through your body. Eeek! So she might be not flexible, not really passionate, close minded, traditionalist kind of a girl… being afraid of her own sexuality, being afraid of letting go and being with a man. What you see is what you get. If someone is shy and insecure you don’t fall in love with her potential. You don’t try to change her. Or believe she could change under your magical influence. She’ll be cold and unavailable in bed. And that’s an end game for me.
She will have temper and plenty of unpredictable, unstable emotions. I slept with girls like that. I know the symptoms.
Also, she told me that she has fever and she’s sick – flu wise. I’ve heard that she was sneezing for a long time, like 3 weeks. I asked if that was the cause of it. She said “yeah”. So I asked again “So you’re feeling ill for the past 3 weeks and you did nothing?” … “No, I did not”. Well, what does it tell about her self esteem and taking care of herself?
Maybe I am exaggerating a bit here. But again, I saw too many red flags like that to just ignore them when they appear in front of me. From the other side, nobody’s perfect. Maybe my list of ideal qualities is just not realistic? Honestly, I don’t believe it. If I will be mixing my own energy with a female, I want a healthy one. Both mentally and physically. If there’s no female like that on this world, I will die alone. Period*.
*Of course, I will die alone anyway. But it sounds more dramatic. 😉
Also, there’s that awkward realization for me (I think I’ve mentioned about it before). When I was young, I’ve had no experience. Now I’m a bit older, and I don’t have much common with younger girls. I can’t and don’t want to party my ass every weekend and drink myself to death anymore. I don’t have will and strength to try and impress them. This makes experiencing something like a romance with a young chick even more tough.
Yet, I still believe that when you meet the right person it can just flow, effortlessly. Even if only for a while. But not with her. How the fuck a man can be playful and make you laugh if under one minute you tell him “I have asthma”? Seriously… Tomorrow I will spin a joke about her asthma then. 😉
The other thing: she said she forgot pin to her card. I’ve replied “Maybe you also have Alzheimer?” – not the best joke, but if a girl likes you she’ll laugh from your bad/corny jokes, too. She replied “Maybe” with a neutral tone. There were 2-3 moments of a good connection though. The case is not lost. She likes me, that’s a fact. The main problem is that I already have a feel of who she is. And this makes me even less interested than before. I have never ever in my life made a mistake by seeing a red flag that later on turned to be a false flag alarm. What you see is what you get, gentlemen. The amount of healthy or quasi-healthy girls out there is extremely low. And I just feel like I’m disrespecting myself when flirting with a girl who is clearly below my standards. I can’t fucking help it. That’s how I feel. That’s also why I don’t believe in that PUA bullshit. Because no man with a good self esteem and healthy self respect would spend months of his life chasing some stupid bar skanks who feel inferior to him. You either have no self-respect or you’re faking the whole thing in order to get money from subscribers.
During the conversation I was having this very well known feeling that she’s not an equal to me, but rather that she needs to be saved and I know how to do it… You guys know what I mean… You just know how to improve her life like she was some mindless drone and not being able to do it herself. Probably she isn’t. And it’s not my fucking problem. I am looking for a developed, normal healthy partner. If only for a short term. And I know these feelings very well. I’m not falling for it like a typical Blue Pilled man. It tells me that she’s either undeveloped or toxic in some way. Privileged princess. Besides, what she could offer me except from her overrated (and probably poor in bed) pussy?
Oh well. I wasn’t planning anything anyway. Not now and not like that. Not with another girl with daddy issues. It was just a consideration if she turned out to be worth of my time. She is not. I have more important plans to do for the next several months. So, farewell Ms Young Chick. It has ended before it even started.
PS. Oh don’t give me that modern stuff. Let’s bring a true classic: