Steve Mayeda

During my long lasting hobby of checking out various coaches and lifestyle trainers I’ve already wrote about Corey Wayne. Corey was directing himself towards a bit of  a healthy Red Pill and at the same time being aware of the whole MGTOW movement, but never really indulging in it and being accused of never proving to be with any girl (personally why he should share his private life with strangers?). Plenty of people find out that his methods are simply accurate and I respect his work towards celebrating healthy masculinity.

..then there’s this guy – Steve Mayeda. He’s openly admitting being in a long term relationship with two kids and an admirably cute wife. Of course, he posts pictures of his own family openly on varous social media and there are people hating him for this. You see the pattern? Once you’re more or less successful, the haters always come and try to put you down.

I must admit it, I really do like his balanced and mature content. Just as Corey Wayne admitted that he had a fucked up childhood with schizophrenic mother and some alcohol involved, so do Steve openly says that he had a drug addiction problem in the past and that he had done plenty of cheating in his older relationships. I’ve listened to a good bit of his podcasts and he raises a lot of good points. Of course, half of the MGTOWalready maturedcommunity of kids will shut down his message because he dears to say that he doesn’t fancy MGTOW. How dare he can have his own opinion! But this only proves the things he is saying about. I recommend you watch this video where he is talking about important topics – rape, consent, being sexual and also MGTOW and The Red Pill for a bit. It might open your eyes that there is more than one side to the same topic we talk about. Masculinity is complex. You might not agree with everything but if you consciously choose to limit yourself to just one worldview, you’re hurting yourself. 

 

There’s of course a small hook: his The Sexual Life package comes with a price: 2000 USD dollars. You can as well join his Men’s Development Group on Facebook which is free and consist mostly of a group of men coming from mixed backgrounds. Personally, I haven’t found there anything extremely useful. This is often the cause in a very moderated and somewhat censored groups. Why I use the word censored? Well, I should say moderated but is there a difference? 😉 If you’re a hard radical MGTOW you won’t have your voice heard over there. Same probably goes with The Red Pill. And I get it, it’s his own project so he sets up the rules.  But apart from that, his YouTube content is free. If I was to choose from RSD Tyler , Corey Wayne and Mayeda’s content at this moment I would probably went with Mayeda. However, there’s a nice twist to this story and you will find out about it after reading the whole article.

But back to the topic, being a man doesn’t mean we should limit ourselves to just one idea. This is why I’m slowly migrating away from pure MGTOW content here. During the last 2,5 years I’ve touched on PUAs, The Red Pill and MGTOW topics massively and frequently. Now, we will be moving straight into more clear masculinity topics. I believe that the best thing is to mix and match everything to suits your own personal needs. In life, there are no definite sets of data that mark your journey as ever finished. Believing that would lead to stagnation and that’s not what we want. At least not what I want.

I recently received an email from one of my readers who share my current view on the whole manosphere scene, so to say. MGTOW community has quickly become very closed and hermetic which is self-limiting in itself. Instead of development it causes stagnation. I believe that a true man would never limit himself because then what’s the difference from being a fanatic? Or a feminist? There is none. Sex and desire is a beautiful thing, women should not be hated. I believe that we can produce great things but only together, when our gender differences are being celebrated instead of forcefully put together under the “gender equality” bullshit. We are not equal, but we aren’t better or worse. We are just different.

Of course I will probably face a heavy backlash from the MGTOW community because I am saying this. They say they don’t hate women but they are lying. They do. And most of the people saying they are identifying themselves as MGTOWs are just inexperienced kids who never been in a serious relationship or “get laid” enough. They hide behind the MGTOW tag because they were hurt and they carry on their own trauma (maybe they had a shitty parents, or a toxic relationship with their own mother?) That’s a very bad approach. Any radical approach is usually very bad. It won’t lead them to happiness. Of course, there are exceptions but I am talking about the main current. I’m in my middle 30s. I don’t want to castrate myself and forcefully shut down my libido. Why would I? Sex is great. If you look at sex only from the side of women using you, you won’t ever be at peace with yourself. If you were hurt during bad relationship, or sex or whatever – you won’t cure and heal this trauma by shutting yourself out from sex, relationships with other people/women. It simply won’t work. It will just isolate you more. And no, this doesn’t mean I am recommending going into long term relationships with women – I don’t. I wonder how many of you already went into meltdown. See, how crazy and close-minded you are about this? Wake the fuck up. Right now! You are planning to be a monk until you’re 70 and your dick stops working? Really? Good luck. 

If I can get good sex and enjoy the company of women, all of the tension disappears and I simply enjoy myself being a man. Being not an alpha man, not a radical MGTOW, not a master Red Piller, not some sort of another weird label that only limits my expression but being a man. 

As for me, MGTOW was an important step during  my personal journey of discovering who I am myself and who I want to become. It was a step and not a final nail to my coffin. See the difference here? What I discovered was a man who don’t want to hate women, enjoy spending time with them, love having sex with them and a good laugh. I enjoy being at peace with myself and other human beings and I say no to hate and negativity towards the other gender. That doesn’t mean I will tolerate any breach of my own personal boundaries. ejaculating 3 times per day to internet porn with females in itBut how any modern male can have strong personal boundaries and talking about being a strong man yet at the same time is beyond me. So many of them need to just grow up and mature. Again – any radical approach is usually very bad. It might not feel like that at first, but then it will hit you. It will hit you when you will be lonely, surrounded by toxic emotions and feeling lost. We need more than just internet pseudo-friends who will support our twisted view on the world. And yes, there are more to being a male than just one way of living. Take this report of Mayeda’s receiving a birth of his own son. No, I don’t want kids. I don’t want a wife. But I still can appreciate his story and be open to the great beauty and mystery of life.

As Mayeda says:

“The social movements that are coming from damage, that are coming from people’s pain… the men’s movement, the women’s movement. You guys are the same fucking thing! You just coming from different angles but both of you depended on detachment and controlled definition of the others to empower yourselves. Traumatic bonding. It could be men coming together to talk shit about women or women coming together to talk shit about men. Or it can be people dysfunctionally coming together through sex.

Can’t really add anything to it. It sums it all up, perfectly. If your goal was to cure & heal yourself MGTOW will probably become just one step in a long journey. If your goal was to isolate yourself and spread hate, you are probably going to stay inside those already very isolated circles.

So far so good, right? Almost too good to be true. I was so close to admitting and going with the conclusion that Mayeda is the real deal here… however, however! Read this up gentlemen! I joined his free FB group under one of my alter egos so that I cannot be recognized as “this dude Datson Horrenbrand with unpopular opinions!” and made a random comment under some of other user’s post. He added a link depicting a typical men shaming story. I won’t go into the details, but a dude posted a hyperlink to an article fear mongering about the topic similar to the rape culture man-spreading (and all that craziness) asking what the members thought about it. Looked like a normal question. I replied that it looked to me like a typical click-bait article that only puts men in the bad light and certainly does not do anything good for the women either. Few hour later my post was deleted. No explanation, no nothing. If this is how his project works, I am out of it. I admire Mayeda’s message and in many parts I agree with it  however, I will never agree to censorship like this on any sort of social media. This is exactly what killed Mgtow.co forum. If I am not allowed to voice my thoughts, what’s the whole point of the “development”? It becomes an isolated group just like MGTOWs or TRP or PUAs are. Okay, maybe they don’t want to stir unnecessary discussions. Maybe they only want “already matured” individuals that are okay with any sort of content. Bear in mind that after reading this group plenty of men felt to me like typical manginas/blue-pillers and no, I won’t drop these labels Mayeda… they are real and useful. And my comment wasn’t radical. I wasn’t bragging about MGTOW or anything. Or hating women in it.

After a short research I’ve found out that the guy posting that link was added by another dude, who was added to the group by Steve Mayeda himself. That another dude is an admin there. So the whole puzzle is solved for me. Another FB admin on a power trip unfairly covering ass of his colleague.

It looks like a little circle of mutual admiration. And don’t forget, if you still need some development as a man and you think that other men can teach you something, you are also willing to pay 2k USD to join Mayeda’s inner circle on The Sexual Life platform/community. As of now, Corey Wayne has also a nice and sensible stuff that has much more views and is not asking for such a huge amount of money for his paid content/coaching. Remember that always when you will feel “not complete” there will be people trying to sell you stuff. Mayeda often brags how he slept with hundreds of women. I doubt it. Why create such unrealistic stories? It just sounds not true. And it’s stupid because he is trying to sell much more worthy content.

Aha! One more thing – final nail to his coffin. One other person posted a picture telling a story about someone who was divorce-raped. “Wanted to get some opinions on this. I couldn’t imagine what I would do in this situation, but from the looks of what’s written here and based on current political climate, it doesn’t look like there’s much a man can do once it’s in motion. One has to get as skilled in early detection and disassociation of such people, it seems…” he wrote under the pic. Mayeda quickly responded So if you’re passionate about an issue like this 1) Help that person 2) Work on changing the laws or the court systems 3) Don’t think complaining or gossiping is changing anything”. He also explained why he believes this is the right way. I won’t cite the whole answer but just a short point from me: I don’t think this is complaining or gossiping. This is spreading the truth about what some women can do to you. Just my five cents on this.

From what he wrote it looks like Mayeda’s was divorce-raped himself. He replied how he “sucked it up”, paid 50k in legal fees, went to jail, have not been able to see his kids for 5 years… pretty tough shit. He said that “one should learn how to differentiate crazy people from non-crazy people, don’t think everybody is crazy, don’t make it a cause, accept full responsibility – for instance at all points in my life something bad happened, it was usually because I put myself in the situation, don’t blame people, KNOW THAT LIFE WILL FUCK YOU…When you GET FUCKED move on; So I know a lot of happy people who are successful with money and business and they have all been screwed and write it off and move on…then make money and life happen.  Then I know people who get screwed and complain about it and they are never successful in anyway. ”  

And I agree with that! But at least in my opinion he should know better that not every man is aware about divorce-rape and not talking about such sad news causes men even more harm than pretending nothing bad is happening. 

At this point I’ve left Mayeda’s free group being disappointed from the double standards that are present there – I remember when he stated in one of his videos how he doesn’t agree with the typical description how men should be “alpha” and so on, yet a friend of a friend (the one I replied to with the post that was deleted later) posted about a well-known article about descriptions of various types of men- from Beta, to Alpha. Guess what? It wasn’t deleted. So yeah, mixed conclusions. Double standards and censorship connected with favoring your own circle of people? Fuck that shit. What’s the difference between this and RSD Tyler who is also asking for huge amount of money to sell you false hopes. I don’t see any. Sad, because Mayeda’s content has already earned a place in my heart. And by the way, I am always a bit skeptical about a dude who is married with kids talking about “hundreds and hundreds of sexual lays, hook-ups, orgies and what-not”… I don’t know… maybe he’s right, maybe not. But for sure he didn’t had hundreds of them. That number is just not rational. So why lie? Does lie sell? Maybe it does.

Well, we are all humans and it seems to me that I no longer want to join any of the other men’s circles. I haven’t found any that I could identify with in 100%. You might already sense what this means. Instead, as yet another side project (separate from RedMaleHummingbird), I am slowly creating my own.

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PUA Scam

PUA Scam

Nowadays we have three major paths for men – PUA, The Red Pill and MGTOW.

RSD Tyler/Julien/Todd and the rest of their crew are a nicely cut fake scam artists. (just google “RSD faking infields” and do some research if their method works and check articles like this one ) If you ever tried their methods, you would knew what I’m saying. The only possibility of a quick make out exist if the girl is already after at least few drinks. And usually after few too many! Same with pulls. I don’t know about you, but I don’t find a lot of fun in sleeping with stinking smelly drunkards especially as I don’t drink at all anymore. So, the only way is the casual way. It takes hours out of your evening. It might be faster if you’re still in your 20s and partying in really big cities with like minded people.

If you keep stalking girls that are out just to be a little crazy and to have fun, you’d be blown out many, many times. From time to time you will get results but it’s just a numbers game. It’s not due to your “game” or some magic PUA skills. You will waste time, effort, money and your health – you can as well go to the good quality escort. You’ll get a similar dopamine rush before during and after. At least you can have better pre selection. 😉 Besides, go on and try to go out 3-4 times per week when having a normal day job and being in your middle 30s. It’s tiring. It’s pointless. It’s not that much of a fun, especially if you’re not a heavily extroverted person. And even if you are? I remember watching one video when RSD Tyler/Owen jokingly says that their business model was basically to outline the basics and then complicate them, and keep doing it so at the end the onion has so many layers that nobody knows what’s going on anymore. It works for clueless men who come to their seminars. 2k per one + millions of views on YT + thousands of dollars for their learning programs made them very rich indeed. Remember that sex won’t make you happy if your life is empty. If your life is empty, no woman would want to join your party, either. Owen likes to say that you should “ignore the negative energy” coming from a girl or better, ignore the negativity altogether. And stop listening to the voice in your head. Of course I agree that we shouldn’t overthink stuff too much, but saying that one should ignore your own intuitive voice is just stupid. After many years I’ve finally learnt how to get in touch with my own intuition and I won’t be dropping it anytime soon. Owen has a lot of good ideas that can be applied to a daily life, though. I don’t try to undermine that. Also he certainly posses a very magnetic persona – probably due to some personality issues. He confirmed this himself many times, by the way. Don’t forget that most people out there are just trying to sell you something and make themselves rich. The main point is that you don’t need their magic pills.

After three years…

Radical MGTOW version/way is, well, too radical… I am not impotent, I am not afraid of women, I don’t hate them, they like me and I like them. I have high sexual drive. I love sex and I love women who love sex. I won’t be pretending that’s not the case. We live in a very connected world and shutting myself away from any contact with the opposite gender doesn’t work for me. I don’t need to do this nor I want to do this, either.

So, what’s left? Well, the classical The Red Pill theory. After deep research of both PUA and MGTOW ways, I am going more towards TRP tradition now. And I must admit that Corey Wayne is still portraying the most balanced version of who I am becoming/want to become. His teachings lie somewhere between classical PUA, TRP and MGTOW. With a strong nudge towards TRP side that encourages short/medium term relationships but without radical absurdities of PUAs and monk-mode-MGTOWs.

Women are just women. We won’t change them. And they won’t change us. They are still better placed than us, because they can choose between beta “mangina” providers and alpha “IDGAF” fucks (or just between men believing in LTRs/Love/Kids/Marriage and ones that no longer believe in that bullshit) and that’s about it. We don’t have much choice. 😉 I don’t mind. I buy it. Life is short. Soon, all of us will be dead.

Life is  full of suffering. Yet, life is so beautiful. 

Forge through it. Find your own way.

Enjoy it while you can.

Love =/= Control?

Ultimately, we are all alone. And that’s fine.

And love is a scam. I am not talking about the universal cosmic love. That is something of far wider perspective. But our earthly, human love? It’s a scam. Biological imperative crafted by nature to maintain the continuity of human species.

We are being told that in order to love truly you need to love freely. To give freedom to the person that we love. But yet, at some another level, love also means control. And control means to worry. And you worry to lose someone you love because you care about them. And you can lose a person in many different ways. The feeling that a father has when his daughter slips into drug addiction? That hopeless realization that nothing can be done in order to save her? Yet, he tries to do it nevertheless. And only when he realizes there’s truly nothing he can do to help her, he quits. And gives up. It’s a tremendous sadness mixed with sorrow and grief. This is how I feel now. One of the people that were close to me, deliberately and stubbornly chooses the wrong path for herself. And just like in those books we’ve been told to never read, a small part of myself dies within. This is because a part of myself, of my heart, was living inside of her. And nothing can be done. After so many years of hard work and hope that one can recognize and change the bad habits. You can only save yourself. Other people don’t give a fuck about you or your hope to help them. They don’t want to be saved.

“I am happy only when I am unhappy”

Apparently a parent can never give up and leave his own child. Maybe some of them can. Maybe they do it only on the surface but deep down nothing is being resolved, and there’s no peace at heart. Ever. Maybe sometimes life throws us towards similar experiences, so that we can gain knowledge and recognize patterns.

But after every rainfall, there’s another breakthrough of clear weather. So, on one side I am asking myself “what the hell I am still doing here?” but on the other I know that soon everything will change for the better. For myself. Only for myself.

gergtgr

Friends

Did we went too far? Way over the top? Before discovering MGTOW/TRP I was able to have normal conversations with people, now the reality makes me unable to befriend people who have different views. It’s like politics- democrats hate liberals and so on. People are so divided. But maybe they were always like that and being an adult means having alienating opinions and just pretending you’re like everyone else? But then, what’s the fucking point if one supposedly posses “freedom of speech” but can’t be using it as it’s not “politically correct”?!

I was talking with a guy that I know. He said he probably don’t want to get married. He is a Muslim, and I like him. He had some signs that he might “get it”. But it’s pointless. Every time I try to explain something to him, he goes into some sort of brain_freeze mode and he isn’t able to say anything except women are equal to men, and period. He doesn’t get any arguments on the table, though. It is just as it is. I call BS on that, though. Have a look:

Him: “You would make a really good dominant daddy-type BF to some young blonde innocent girl, who’d have to agree to everything you’d say For now, just be content in the fact that there are people who are different than you, who are wrong. who believe in so many other things that to you might be laughable, accept them for who they are and do not try and change them even if you do not agree with their beliefs.”

Now, if he had enough of experience he would knew that young blondes are never innocent and they never agree to everything one says. 😉 Some people cannot be saved. The thing is: if you were wrong, would you like to know? Some people just WANT to believe that the earth is flat and they will ditch out anything proving otherwise.

Him: “Hahahaha, you are sexist, women and men are equal you know, so if they can do it why cant men do it”

Me: “Yes, but men don’t have a pussy. maybe some of them do hehe”

Him: “Women do not have a dick, still they are equal to men. They work it out somehow and so can we”

Me: “Sexes aren’t equal. never were, never be. we are different. we have different drives, purposes. to say we are equal means killing the diversity.”

Him: “Don’t ask stupid questions and look for logic. I am not listening to you, WOMEN ARE EQUAL TO MEN and that is the end of it”

However, his argument is objectively valid. People have different views. But if you knew the truth you would want to save your friends, right? Or at least try to explain them something? I can say the same: our MGTOW truth comes from analysis of logical facts. So what part in his rational thinking works different so that he ends up with “men are equal to women”? And every time I try to tell him “they aren’t equal, they are different, 1=1 but x =/= z … not worse or better, but we are not equal” and he simply doesn’t get it. It’s like a brain block or something. I am not even saying they are worse than us! Just different! No! “They are equal”.

I believe he views it not even as “women and men are equal, men were oppressing women for so long, poor females etc” as he doesn’t go that deep into this topic, but rather “women should have equal rights, we should support them”. Like they weren’t able to support themselves – they already are better than us. Much better.

How we can do something with people like him? Is there anything we can do?

I am suffering with inability to speak up my own truth. They can speak their own truth. And I can’t.
I am tired. Tired of societal conditioning. Because nowadays it doesn’t matter what you know or who you are. What matters is how good you can tell silly/funny stories that make women’s laugh. It matters how “social” you are. How many jokes you can make in a minute- of course to make our beloved women happy. It is just stupid.

Corey Wayne

Hello fellow MGTOWs. Please note that I publish an article two days before my usual Thursday update as I’m flying off for a short break to Spain. Enjoy it and thank you for being here.

 

Mr Corey Wayne

A lot of you probably heard about this guy. He claims to be a relationship/peak performance-life coach (whatever that means). I have never saw any document confirming that he actually finished any sort of course or studies or official certificate. Probably he is just self-made coach, earning money through YouTube. Fair enough. This only shows that persistence pays back.

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I have even read his book – “How to be a 3% man” that claims to teach men how to get the women of their dreams. I won’t go into the details, but it is in a way a good read.

At the end of it, he sums it up:

“The concepts I have taught you from the beginning of this book need to be applied throughout your dating and relationship life. This includes having fun, listening to your lady and really hear what she is saying, always judging her level of interest, continuing to build the anticipation, remaining in your masculine, staying in your center and never letting a woman push you off that center. A relationship is an on-going joy of giving of yourself, and giving to your lady. It also means knowing who you are and what you want out of life, and when to walk away if you are not getting what you need to be happy.”

Which, to make a long story short, means accordingly:

having fun – dating should be fun, laughing, and just being playful – Can’t disagree.

listening to your lady and really hear what she is saying – always listen to what a woman says, not just pretend that you’re listeninig – again, this should be important for both genders and I can’t disagree either- if you go on a date with someone you aren’t interested at all, there’s something wrong with you

always judging her level of interest – that means: don’t date women who aren’t interested in you and notice when a girl interest in you starts to drop – fair enough, albeit it eventually leads to the sad conclusion (which I mention below)

continuing to build the anticipation – she should always be wanting more (of you, time with you, sex with you etc)- however, this isn’t really possible (again, read on)

remaining in your masculine – just “be a man” 😉 don’t be a pussy/mangina-super-pleaser – ok Corey, that’s cool for me

staying in your center – learn what it really means to be confident and strong – he has another point from me

never letting a woman push you off that center – true, you should know how to deal with women – yet another good point

A relationship is an on-going joy of giving of yourself, and giving to your lady – he says that we are most happy when we are giving ourselves away – again, it’s good as long as your partner reciprocates and we all know how it goes…

It also means knowing who you are and what you want out of life – have passions, dreams and follow them – sound advice

and when to walk away if you are not getting what you need to be happy – he finally says, albeit very briefly, that you should leave or walk away when you’re not happy with what your partner offers you – which is of course a reasonable thing to mention

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Now, let me be straight with this- Corey is teaching something that is more like a Red Pill knowledge, rather than MGTOW. And more like a very gentle and smooth version of the Red Pill. You won’t read about hypergamy, the wall, blue pill or SMV over there.

He never concentrates on harsh topics, and avoid talking about more controversial topics. However, he knows that in order to get anything out of a relationship from a women you need to concede to her. He just says it in a very polite manner. Now, why I don’t believe his advice is possible to maintain long-term. First of all, he himself is divorced and actually coming from a toxic family (his mother had schizophrenia- he often mentions that on his YT channel) – this means he could learn everything the hard way. This deserves some respect and courage. Of course, he doesn’t have a wife by now. He offers advice for married people but he’s rather against it – that’s his personal view, it’s ok for me.

My main concern is this: in current inter-connected Facebook/Instagram/Twitter world, it is extremely hard to remain mysterious for the women you’re dating for her to remain interested in you. Even if you meet someone through your colleagues (one of the best ways) then your potential girl will be able to ask others about you and who you are. Maybe you might not add her on social media or restrict her on FB. I don’t think there’s any other way to “remain mysterious”.

His advice is sound and it works, in most cases but it won’t work with any unhealthy/toxic women and actually that’s the majority.

When I finished reading his book I was like – okay, that’s all good, as long if one will exclude the parts with (a bit too high for my taste) pampering towards women and that metaphysical twist at the end (saying that we should love with our whole hearts, that our gift in this world is to give back love blah blah blah) it all makes sense. Of course  this book might help manginas/white knights to become more masculine but I don’t think this teaches anything more than a gentle sense of masculinity and how to behave around/date women to not look like a complete idiot.

He actually encourages relationships so that’s blue pill for sure, but also states that if you want to have 5 girlfriends, then go for it. That levels the playing field for me. At the end I realized that to create this constant anticipation in any given female, one need to spend a lot of effort, time and money into all this dating.

Personally, I can have some good interesting ideas for let’s say first 4-5 dates. You should sleep with a girl after 2-3 dates. So that’s probably a month or month and a half of dating (good escort is cheaper and easier) After that, my ideas go dry. And it starts to feel like I need to work extra hard and invent something new every time. It might be funny and playful for her for sure but whether I am also having fun knowing that I am trying to raise her interest level is another story. The feeling that I need to entertain her because otherwise she’ll walk away or become bored (and walk away as a result anyway) is cumbersome.

When she fall in love with me then it’s even harder because I won’t even be able to get rid of her without “breaking her heart” and receiving bad gossip later on.

And then you are waking up five years later, being completely complacent to your girlfriend. And the most power over her that you’ll ever feel is when you will be telling her to “stop, there’s a car coming!” on a pedestrian crossing.

And all this for what? A bit of a laughter, pussy and hugging? You guys know that I’ve had my lower days recently, thinking whether I’m missing something by not involving myself in a serious dating for almost two consecutive years. Now I’m still hungry for something new in my life, but I am already not so sure again that this new thing should be a woman. 

It’s just too much work, it cost you everything and she just receives, receives, receives and gives away what? Her pussy? It’s not worth it, gentlemen. I’m going my own way instead.