During my long lasting hobby of checking out various coaches and lifestyle trainers I’ve already wrote about Corey Wayne. Corey was directing himself towards a bit of a healthy Red Pill and at the same time being aware of the whole MGTOW movement, but never really indulging in it and being accused of never proving to be with any girl (personally why he should share his private life with strangers?). Plenty of people find out that his methods are simply accurate and I respect his work towards celebrating healthy masculinity.
..then there’s this guy – Steve Mayeda. He’s openly admitting being in a long term relationship with two kids and an admirably cute wife. Of course, he posts pictures of his own family openly on varous social media and there are people hating him for this. You see the pattern? Once you’re more or less successful, the haters always come and try to put you down.
I must admit it, I really do like his balanced and mature content. Just as Corey Wayne admitted that he had a fucked up childhood with schizophrenic mother and some alcohol involved, so do Steve openly says that he had a drug addiction problem in the past and that he had done plenty of cheating in his older relationships. I’ve listened to a good bit of his podcasts and he raises a lot of good points. Of course, half of the MGTOW “already matured” community of kids will shut down his message because he dears to say that he doesn’t fancy MGTOW. How dare he can have his own opinion! But this only proves the things he is saying about. I recommend you watch this video where he is talking about important topics – rape, consent, being sexual and also MGTOW and The Red Pill for a bit. It might open your eyes that there is more than one side to the same topic we talk about. Masculinity is complex. You might not agree with everything but if you consciously choose to limit yourself to just one worldview, you’re hurting yourself.
There’s of course a small hook: his The Sexual Life package comes with a price: 2000 USD dollars. You can as well join his Men’s Development Group on Facebook which is free and consist mostly of a group of men coming from mixed backgrounds. Personally, I haven’t found there anything extremely useful. This is often the cause in a very moderated and somewhat censored groups. Why I use the word censored? Well, I should say moderated but is there a difference? 😉 If you’re a hard radical MGTOW you won’t have your voice heard over there. Same probably goes with The Red Pill. And I get it, it’s his own project so he sets up the rules. But apart from that, his YouTube content is free. If I was to choose from RSD Tyler , Corey Wayne and Mayeda’s content at this moment I would probably went with Mayeda. However, there’s a nice twist to this story and you will find out about it after reading the whole article.
But back to the topic, being a man doesn’t mean we should limit ourselves to just one idea. This is why I’m slowly migrating away from pure MGTOW content here. During the last 2,5 years I’ve touched on PUAs, The Red Pill and MGTOW topics massively and frequently. Now, we will be moving straight into more clear masculinity topics. I believe that the best thing is to mix and match everything to suits your own personal needs. In life, there are no definite sets of data that mark your journey as ever finished. Believing that would lead to stagnation and that’s not what we want. At least not what I want.
I recently received an email from one of my readers who share my current view on the whole manosphere scene, so to say. MGTOW community has quickly become very closed and hermetic which is self-limiting in itself. Instead of development it causes stagnation. I believe that a true man would never limit himself because then what’s the difference from being a fanatic? Or a feminist? There is none. Sex and desire is a beautiful thing, women should not be hated. I believe that we can produce great things but only together, when our gender differences are being celebrated instead of forcefully put together under the “gender equality” bullshit. We are not equal, but we aren’t better or worse. We are just different.
Of course I will probably face a heavy backlash from the MGTOW community because I am saying this. They say they don’t hate women but they are lying. They do. And most of the people saying they are identifying themselves as MGTOWs are just inexperienced kids who never been in a serious relationship or “get laid” enough. They hide behind the MGTOW tag because they were hurt and they carry on their own trauma (maybe they had a shitty parents, or a toxic relationship with their own mother?) That’s a very bad approach. Any radical approach is usually very bad. It won’t lead them to happiness. Of course, there are exceptions but I am talking about the main current. I’m in my middle 30s. I don’t want to castrate myself and forcefully shut down my libido. Why would I? Sex is great. If you look at sex only from the side of women using you, you won’t ever be at peace with yourself. If you were hurt during bad relationship, or sex or whatever – you won’t cure and heal this trauma by shutting yourself out from sex, relationships with other people/women. It simply won’t work. It will just isolate you more. And no, this doesn’t mean I am recommending going into long term relationships with women – I don’t. I wonder how many of you already went into meltdown. See, how crazy and close-minded you are about this? Wake the fuck up. Right now! You are planning to be a monk until you’re 70 and your dick stops working? Really? Good luck.
If I can get good sex and enjoy the company of women, all of the tension disappears and I simply enjoy myself being a man. Being not an alpha man, not a radical MGTOW, not a master Red Piller, not some sort of another weird label that only limits my expression but being a man.
As for me, MGTOW was an important step during my personal journey of discovering who I am myself and who I want to become. It was a step and not a final nail to my coffin. See the difference here? What I discovered was a man who don’t want to hate women, enjoy spending time with them, love having sex with them and a good laugh. I enjoy being at peace with myself and other human beings and I say no to hate and negativity towards the other gender. That doesn’t mean I will tolerate any breach of my own personal boundaries. ejaculating 3 times per day to internet porn with females in itBut how any modern male can have strong personal boundaries and talking about being a strong man yet at the same time is beyond me. So many of them need to just grow up and mature. Again – any radical approach is usually very bad. It might not feel like that at first, but then it will hit you. It will hit you when you will be lonely, surrounded by toxic emotions and feeling lost. We need more than just internet pseudo-friends who will support our twisted view on the world. And yes, there are more to being a male than just one way of living. Take this report of Mayeda’s receiving a birth of his own son. No, I don’t want kids. I don’t want a wife. But I still can appreciate his story and be open to the great beauty and mystery of life.
As Mayeda says:
“The social movements that are coming from damage, that are coming from people’s pain… the men’s movement, the women’s movement. You guys are the same fucking thing! You just coming from different angles but both of you depended on detachment and controlled definition of the others to empower yourselves. Traumatic bonding. It could be men coming together to talk shit about women or women coming together to talk shit about men. Or it can be people dysfunctionally coming together through sex.
Can’t really add anything to it. It sums it all up, perfectly. If your goal was to cure & heal yourself MGTOW will probably become just one step in a long journey. If your goal was to isolate yourself and spread hate, you are probably going to stay inside those already very isolated circles.
So far so good, right? Almost too good to be true. I was so close to admitting and going with the conclusion that Mayeda is the real deal here… however, however! Read this up gentlemen! I joined his free FB group under one of my alter egos so that I cannot be recognized as “this dude Datson Horrenbrand with unpopular opinions!” and made a random comment under some of other user’s post. He added a link depicting a typical men shaming story. I won’t go into the details, but a dude posted a hyperlink to an article fear mongering about the topic similar to the rape culture man-spreading (and all that craziness) asking what the members thought about it. Looked like a normal question. I replied that it looked to me like a typical click-bait article that only puts men in the bad light and certainly does not do anything good for the women either. Few hour later my post was deleted. No explanation, no nothing. If this is how his project works, I am out of it. I admire Mayeda’s message and in many parts I agree with it however, I will never agree to censorship like this on any sort of social media. This is exactly what killed Mgtow.co forum. If I am not allowed to voice my thoughts, what’s the whole point of the “development”? It becomes an isolated group just like MGTOWs or TRP or PUAs are. Okay, maybe they don’t want to stir unnecessary discussions. Maybe they only want “already matured” individuals that are okay with any sort of content. Bear in mind that after reading this group plenty of men felt to me like typical manginas/blue-pillers and no, I won’t drop these labels Mayeda… they are real and useful. And my comment wasn’t radical. I wasn’t bragging about MGTOW or anything. Or hating women in it.
After a short research I’ve found out that the guy posting that link was added by another dude, who was added to the group by Steve Mayeda himself. That another dude is an admin there. So the whole puzzle is solved for me. Another FB admin on a power trip unfairly covering ass of his colleague.
It looks like a little circle of mutual admiration. And don’t forget, if you still need some development as a man and you think that other men can teach you something, you are also willing to pay 2k USD to join Mayeda’s inner circle on The Sexual Life platform/community. As of now, Corey Wayne has also a nice and sensible stuff that has much more views and is not asking for such a huge amount of money for his paid content/coaching. Remember that always when you will feel “not complete” there will be people trying to sell you stuff. Mayeda often brags how he slept with hundreds of women. I doubt it. Why create such unrealistic stories? It just sounds not true. And it’s stupid because he is trying to sell much more worthy content.
Aha! One more thing – final nail to his coffin. One other person posted a picture telling a story about someone who was divorce-raped. “Wanted to get some opinions on this. I couldn’t imagine what I would do in this situation, but from the looks of what’s written here and based on current political climate, it doesn’t look like there’s much a man can do once it’s in motion. One has to get as skilled in early detection and disassociation of such people, it seems…” he wrote under the pic. Mayeda quickly responded “So if you’re passionate about an issue like this 1) Help that person 2) Work on changing the laws or the court systems 3) Don’t think complaining or gossiping is changing anything”. He also explained why he believes this is the right way. I won’t cite the whole answer but just a short point from me: I don’t think this is complaining or gossiping. This is spreading the truth about what some women can do to you. Just my five cents on this.
From what he wrote it looks like Mayeda’s was divorce-raped himself. He replied how he “sucked it up”, paid 50k in legal fees, went to jail, have not been able to see his kids for 5 years… pretty tough shit. He said that “one should learn how to differentiate crazy people from non-crazy people, don’t think everybody is crazy, don’t make it a cause, accept full responsibility – for instance at all points in my life something bad happened, it was usually because I put myself in the situation, don’t blame people, KNOW THAT LIFE WILL FUCK YOU…When you GET FUCKED move on; So I know a lot of happy people who are successful with money and business and they have all been screwed and write it off and move on…then make money and life happen. Then I know people who get screwed and complain about it and they are never successful in anyway. ”
And I agree with that! But at least in my opinion he should know better that not every man is aware about divorce-rape and not talking about such sad news causes men even more harm than pretending nothing bad is happening.
At this point I’ve left Mayeda’s free group being disappointed from the double standards that are present there – I remember when he stated in one of his videos how he doesn’t agree with the typical description how men should be “alpha” and so on, yet a friend of a friend (the one I replied to with the post that was deleted later) posted about a well-known article about descriptions of various types of men- from Beta, to Alpha. Guess what? It wasn’t deleted. So yeah, mixed conclusions. Double standards and censorship connected with favoring your own circle of people? Fuck that shit. What’s the difference between this and RSD Tyler who is also asking for huge amount of money to sell you false hopes. I don’t see any. Sad, because Mayeda’s content has already earned a place in my heart. And by the way, I am always a bit skeptical about a dude who is married with kids talking about “hundreds and hundreds of sexual lays, hook-ups, orgies and what-not”… I don’t know… maybe he’s right, maybe not. But for sure he didn’t had hundreds of them. That number is just not rational. So why lie? Does lie sell? Maybe it does.
Well, we are all humans and it seems to me that I no longer want to join any of the other men’s circles. I haven’t found any that I could identify with in 100%. You might already sense what this means. Instead, as yet another side project (separate from RedMaleHummingbird), I am slowly creating my own.